A New Redheaded Cheerleader - Book Two
by Sharper the Writer
Summary: Things are getting intense as the pressure mounts on Candace into joining the Mad Dog Squad. However, Veruca may have plans that could derail her chances. Can Candace withstand them? Book two of four of ANRC. Readers must read Book I first. Rated PG-13 for language, some teen drinking, and cartoon violence. Cover image is done by, and given full credit to, FitzOblong of Deviantart.
1. Chapter 1

**From the Desk of the Sharper, here is Book II of A New Redheaded Cheerleader, which continues the exciting drama of Candace yearning to become a cheerleader for the Middleton Mad Dogs but, alas, she finds it to be more difficult than she imagined. **

**For those of you who are new to ANRC, I'd suggest to y'all to read Book I and its surrounding stories first before preparing to read this story. **

**Phineas and Ferb, characters and settings, are created by Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh and © by Disney.**

**Kim Possible, characters and settings, are created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle and © by Disney.**

**Carmelita Spats & A Series of Unfortunate Events is created by Lemony Snicket.**

**Caitlin Cooke, and 6teen, is created by Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch and © by Fresh TV & Nelvana.**

**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is created by Roald Dahl. All rights go to his descendants.**

**Officer Owen, Professor Bunson Burner, Rebecca Starlet, the Combs Family, the Carter Family, Lizzy Wantsmoney, Jack, Chloe Stonehearter, Griff the Vendor, Veruca's Servants, General Brass, Le Moose, General Brass, Colonel Cluckers, and Tightlips are created and © by Sharper-the-Writer.**

**The fanfic is rated PG-13 for language, brief sexual references, brief teen drinking and smoking and cartoon action violence.**

Chapter 1

(_Near Chez Couteaux, 3:00am)_

Kim and Ron were both picked up by Mr. Charles, a furniture store owner. Mr. Charles was happening to be on his way for his routine walk on the lit biking trail north of Middleton when he received the call.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Charles!" the redhead smiled. She rolled down the window for the cool summer wind to blow through her hair.

"It's the least I can do for you, Kim, since you helped me with my flat tire problem a week ago!" Mr. Charles replied, concentrating on the road.

He briefly wondered in thought, "Though I wonder what did cause the flat tire in the first place?"

Ron then made a reminder to himself in his brain.

_Note to self, never play around with extremely sharp arrowheads near car windows!_

The car pulled up to Chez Couteaux in the empty parking lot. Mr. Charles dropped them off right in front of the water fountain. He pulled his car away, leaving the two teens behind.

"So here we are…" Kim observed, hands on her hips, "…the scene of the crime."

"May the reason why all of this happened was because someone fainted from one look of the menu?" Ron joked a little. "Get it? Because….the prices are….you know…pricey?"

"Ron, I don't think the reason Mr. Couteaux called us here was because of a silly case of sticker shock!" Kim countered.

"Are you kidding, KP?" Ron exclaimed, "Chez Couteaux is the most expensive restaurant in town!"

"Haven't you seen the video from Mr. Couteaux?" Kim questioned.

"Um….to be clear, Kim, I haven't seen the video yet…." Ron said.

Then he came to a realization from the video that he _had _seen at Felix's house.

_Look, don't you recognize the place? This is where Felix showed us that fight between…_

"Quiet, brain!" Ron shouted loudly, "I'll feed you some Nacos in the morning! Just be patient!"

"Ron…" Kim grumbled, "…are you arguing with your brain again?"

"Umm…" Ron paused before trying to pin the blame, "...he started it!"

Kim complained impatiently, "Ron, this is no time to be talking to yourself! Come on, we got to get to the bottom of this!"

* * *

The two of them opened the doors and was caught by surprise at the amount of destruction of overturned tables and chairs. Exquisite food that were signature recipes passed down in the Couteaux family for three generations was all over the place.

"Whoa!" Kim gasped. She had seen crime scenes before that were messy, but not on the level that she witnessed here at this fine restaurant. "Now that's what I call a food fight!"

"You can say that again!" Ron replied, whistling in amazement "I mean, look at all that food on the floor! That's gotta cost somewhere between seven….nine hundred simoleons altogether!"

"Simoleons, Ron?" Kim moaned with a slight blush on her face.

"The mucho dinero, Kim! You know, the moo-lah, the green bling…"

Kim groaned, burying her hands in her face.

"Just say money, Ron! It's more simple…" Kim uttered from beneath hear hands.

"…the fancy Franklins, the livin'-large Lincolns…"

They heard the tapping of footsteps from the second-floor staircase. Kim and Ron both looked up to see who it was.

* * *

Pierre Couteaux emerged from the shadows of the dimly-lit shadows and advanced on downstairs. He was in his mid-40s with his black hair slicked back and twirling his mustache. Pierre adjusted his black tuxedo and blue tie as he approached the heroes.

"Ah, Mademoiselle Possible! Vous, avez enfin arrive!" Pierre exclaimed in French. He had only been in the United States for around two weeks, without any English language skills.

"Um….can you please speak a little English?" Ron requested.

Pierre's brother, Jacques, came downstairs from the second floor. His normally meticulous black hair was disheveled from the lack of customers and revenue coming into the restaurant for the past two days. In addition, his tuxedo shirt was untucked.

He was relieved that Team Possible had finally come.

"Ah, forgive my brother, Mademoselle Possible! What my brother said zat you have finally came to our aid! Oui Oui!" Jacques replied through some mastery of the English language.

"So what happened here, Mr. Couteaux?" Kim questioned. Her green eyes circled on the pathway of destruction around the restaurant. "I see silverware, food, and overturned tables all over the place! Now… let's see if any money was taken"

Kim put on a pair of latex gloves and went on over to the cash register and opened it up.

"Seems like the register wasn't emptied." she said, seeing that all the money was there.

"Oh, no, no, no!" Jacques replied. "There was no money taken from our exquisite clientele!"

He then whispered inside Pierre's ear.

Pierre then spoke with his native French tongue. "Je vais vous le dire a la table ou la lute a commence."

"He says that he shall show you ze table where ze fight began!" Jacques replied with the English translation for his brother.

Pierre and Jacques then followed the trail of destruction amidst all the splattered food they worked so hard to prepare and was beginning to spoil on their imported carpet.

"KP, remind me to sign up for French class next fall!" Ron remarked.

"Duly noted, Ron!" Kim agreed. She was going to have to learn the language the next time she has a mission in France.

Pierre continued on in his native language. "Lorsque nous avons essaye de contacter l'equipe Possible site por, toute aide conduisant does auteurs qui a commence cette lute, notre site etait…comment vous dire….hors liane!"

"My brother said when we tried to contact ze Team Possible website for informacion zat could lead to ze perpetrators, our website was…offline!" Jacques replied with the English translation to Kim.

"Offline?" Kim asked with more interest, "How did that happen?"

"I do not know, Mademoselle Possible!" Jacques exclaimed before sniffling up, "All I could remember was that our business was ruined for ze next 28 hours!" He took out his hanky and sobbed into it with tears streaming from his eyes. "Even though ze insurance will pay for ze damages, it won't pay for my damaged pride!"

Kim came to Jacques' aid to calm him down. "Don't worry, Mr. Couteaux! We'll make sure that just will be served to those responsible!"

"Oh thank you!" Jacques exclaimed with gratitude towards the teen heroine before all four of them came to a stop.

"Zere!" Jacques said, pointing to a table with a ripped tablecloth and splattered food. "Table 75! That's where ze uncivilized fight began!"

"When did the fight begin?" Kim asked.

Jacques then whispered in Pierre's ear.

"La lutte a commence a la deuxie'me de juill et...six-trente." Pierre replied in French.

"He said zat it began on July 2nd at 6:30." Jacques replied with the translation.

"Hmm...didn't the police come here?" Kim wondered.

"Oui...oui...Mademoiselle Possible! But alas, zey only took a few photos of ze evidence before zey left and never came back!" Jacques groaned.

Kim muttered, "Typical sloppy work by 'Middleton's Finest'!" She paused a moment and said. "Wait a minute, did you say 6:30pm?"

"I did!" came the reply from Jacques.

Kim looked around and observed the damage to Table 75. She put her fingers on her chin…thinking…pondering.

"Kim, what are you doing ?" Ron wondered.

"I'm trying to construct a timeline of what happened, Ron, duh!" Kim explained with a hint of sarcasm. "CSIs do it all the time!"

She turned to Jacques and asked, "So if the fight began at 6:30 and… when did the police arrive, Mr. Couteaux?"

"Around 7:15." Jacques answered.

"And you said, the restaurant's website went down sometime when you tried to reach my site?" Kim asked another important question.

"_Oui! _Ze site went down at 10:40pm !" Jacques said, giving the time.

"So if I base my conclusions correctly, the people who started the fight must've been the same people who brought your site down!" Kim deducted.

"I haven't zought of zat before!" Jacques said with astonishment.

"Can you give me a description of the person or persons involved in the fight?" Kim asked, getting her notepad and pen out.

"I'm sorrie, Mademoiselle Possible, but I was so depressed from ze lack of customers zat I had six glasses of vine!" Jacques apologized. He pointed to a security camera along one of the walls and Kim turned her attention to it.

"Ze cameras vill tell ze story more than I!" Jacques explained. "Also, follow ze path of destruction! That'll lead to you to your answer!"

Kim turned to Ron and said, "Come on, Ron! Let's start gathering up some clues!"

"Rightey-o, KP!" Ron replied.

The two began their search on Table 75.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kim and Ron, with their latex gloves on, started looking for clues around Table 75.

"Ron, don't you find it a little odd?" Kim contemplated.

"What do you mean, KP?" Ron asked while observing the cushions and patting them down. He peered down the table. "Man, for a fancy restaurant like Chez Couteaux, people do leave a lot of bubblegum under the seat!" Rufus peered down his pink head and nodded in agreement.

"The police force doing a sloppy job to collect evidence and the taking down of the restaurant's website!" Kim explained. "I have a strange feeling that all these things are connected somehow, but I can't seem to put my fingerprint on it."

"Let's follow the path!" she said, pointing to the mess. "That'll hopefully put an answer to all our questions.

She came upon a small residue of black spray on the wall. Kim took out her evidence kit and swabbed a bit of the spray with a Q-tip. She then put the swabbed Q-tip in a plastic evidence bag.

"That is going in the evidence file!" Kim said before looking upon the trail of scattered food and silverware.

"Alright, we're hot on the trail, KP!" Ron excitedly said. He and Rufus followed Kim on the trail of destruction.

The pathway led Team Possible to a table where a seven-layer chocolate cake collapsed in a heap on the floor. Chocolate frosting was on the fine linen and chairs.

"Whoa..." Kim gasped, "That...is one giant mess!"

Ron observed his surroundings and saw one part of the ruined cake with icing that said... "-enton" on it.

At first, he passed off the coincidence "Hah...the Enton family...what a weird name..." However, Ron thought to himself.

_Wait a minute...I know I saw this before._

Once the mental image of his surroundings formed in his head, Ron realized what it was.

_It's the Renton's anniversary cake that was mauled during the fight and Veruca was involved in it! I have to warn Kim!_

* * *

Kim studied the characteristics of the cake and said, "This seems to be where the climax of the fight took place!"

She turned to Ron and commanded, "Ron, be prepared to gather clues in this area!"

"Mr. Stoppable's already on the case, KP!" Ron proudly declared.

_Darn it! _

Kim looked down at the carpet and saw a bloodstain on the carpet.

"Looks like this fight turned a little ugly! Time to swab it and give it to Wade." She took out a Q-tip and swabbed the blood off the carpet. The Q-tip caught the still-fresh stain with its fibers. Kim put it in a plastic bag.

Ron and Rufus, meanwhile, observed the ruined chocolate cake with the plastic figures of the husband and wife broken into pieces.

"Aww..." he groaned, "That was a beautiful cake gone to waste..." He looked around and noticed that Kim has her head turned back, away from him.

Without thinking twice, he began to eat the chocolate cake by the mouthful. The chocolate frosting registered with his tastebuds, recognizing the still sweet taste.

"Ohh...mm...this is good! Rufus! You gotta try it, man!"

Rufus crawled up to the ruined cake and was about to take a bit of it when he noticed a familiar...and foul...aroma in the air. He began to growl and snarl.

"What is it, boy?" Ron asked in-between bites.

Rufus found an area on the floor with a lot of chocolate frosting and crawled to it. With his paw, he etched the name "V-E-R-U-C-A" within the icing.

Ron gasped, with bits of chocolate cake falling from his mouth. He spat it out the floor in shock and now remembered what he was _really _supposed to do.

"Um...Kim?! You have to see this!" Ron exclaimed, standing up.

Kim ran to Ron's aid and asked quickly, "Ron, I'm here! What's going on?"

Ron's finger was trembling, pointing to the name etched in the icing. "There, KP! There's our main culprit!"

Kim looked at the name embedded in the icing and was in disbelief, but not convinced.

"Ron, that cannot be possible...no pun intended on my last name. You obviously have to be joking!"

"No, it's true, Kim!" Ron countered in a loud voice, "Veruca Salt, aka the Mad Dog Mascot Killer, is out!"

Kim folded his arms, still not convinced at Ron's accusations, "Ron, we've already been through this five times! Veruca is in Juvie Hall and will continue to be in Juvie Hall for the next couple of months! Now, we shall speak no more about this!"

Getting back to the case, Kim looked down. The crumbs of the cake left a trail leading into the kitchen.

"Come on, Ron, to the kitchen!" she said, pointing to the kitchen as the next scene of the crime.

Ron and Rufus begrudgingly followed Kim to the kitchen.

* * *

Kim and Ron then opened the doors to the kitchen. The two of them witnessed the mess of the syrup of the floor, plus puddles of water scattered about.

"This is going to take them a week to clean all of this up!" Kim said, still amazed at the extent of the damage.

"I'd say." Ron agreed.

"Let's see if we can find some more clues here..." Kim said.

But Ron interrupted, chucking a little, "Say, KP! You can be Sherlock Holmes and I can be Dr. Watson!"

He tried to imitate a British accent, but poorly "I do say, Holmes...there seems to be a lot of syrup on the floor!"

Kim, on the other hand, was not persuaded. "Ron, less on the British imitations, more on the collecting evidence!"

Both Kim and Ron took opposite sides of the kitchen: Kim on the right side, Ron on the left. They were at least 40 feet apart from each other, separated by a wall and the necessary state-of-the art kitchen appliances.

"Why didn't Kim believe me that Veruca is out of Juvie?"

_It's because that she hasn't gone through all the evidence yet to prove that Veruca was here. Still, we need some indisputable evidence that Veruca was here…. Wait! That's it!"_

Ron kneeled on the floor and observed the syrup slide."Now…let's see where the mess leads…. Rufus?"

Rufus slid on the syrup slide, and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Wheee!"

The momentum that carried Rufus came to a halt when he felt his skin on the flour.

Ron looked around the panty and saw the bag of flour on the floor. Something else also caught his eye…a high heeled shoe with rhinestones studded on it. There was partial flour on it.

"Hey, KP! Found a missing shoe here!"

It received the attention of Kim as she walked on over to the panty. She took one look at the shoe on the floor, a few feet away from the bag of flour, and complemented Ron.

"Good find, Ron!" Kim smiled, putting the high-heeled shoe in a large evidence bag with her gloves on. "Now…let's comb some more of the area! I'm pretty sure there's a smoking gun around here somewhere…"

Ron walked behind Kim, sniffing around until a burning scent came to the attention of his nasal receptors.

"I smell a pair of pants….not having a good day at all…"

Kim began to sniff it as well.

He and Kim looked around behind one of the counters, and there was a pair of burnt tuxedo pants, with the fabric giving an odious strong smell.

"Wow, you're right, Ron!" Kim uttered, covering her nose. "These pair of pants clearly have been torched! I'll get Wade…"

She took out her Kimmunicator and Wade appeared on-screen, armed with four cups of coffee.

"Anything I can help you with, Kim?" Wade asked.

Kim took out a small pair of scissors and cut off a small piece of the fabric of the tuxedo pants.

"I want you to analyze the fabric here! Especially where it came from, and who bought it!" Kim requested.

"Just place it on the tray, and I'll take a look at it!" Wade replied, typing on the computer.

Kim did what he said in putting the piece of fabric on the small transporter tray of the Kimmunicator. It transported right before her very eyes from the Kimmunicator to Wade's room.

"I got it!" Wade said, "I'll let you know when the results come back!"

"Please and thank you!" Kim smiled, putting away the Kimmunicator. "Now… to find where the culprits escaped…"

Kim continued to look around the kitchen area.

"KP, what are you looking for?" Ron asked.

"A way out…" Kim replied.

"You mean, you want out of this case?" Ron guessed, being baffled of what she was talking about.

"No, Ron!" Kim retorted, "The culprit's method of escape!" She left Ron for a moment and walked around the kitchen for a few minutes.

Jacques peered his head through the door and asked "Have you found any clues, Mademoiselle Possible?"

"I have found a few, Mr. Couteaux…" Kim said, "But I still need to ask one thing…"

"Oh, anything!" Jacques smiled.

"How many exits are there in the kitchen area?"

"Just two...ze main exit and ze fire escape!" Jacques replied. "However, we were extremely busy so ze culprit could not have escaped through ze main doors without attracting !"

"The fire escape…huh…" Kim thought to herself, "That's the one place of the kitchen that we haven't explored yet! We'll gather up the last of the clues there!"

"Ron…" Kim said as she came back into the kitchen, making her assessment, "I asked Mr. Couteaux! He said that the culprits may have used the fire escape to make their getaway!"

"Let's find some fingerprints and…." Ron said before yawning "…catch some much needed Z's!"

Kim smiled at her best friend and replied, "Don't worry, we're almost done here!"

She, Ron, and Rufus made their way to the one last part of the kitchen that hadn't been combed over for clues yet…the emergency exit.

Kim observed the emergency exit. She began to make her own observations.

"So…it seems that our perpetrator went to here and…" Her eyes zipped to the fire alarm lever, which had been pulled. "…wanted to create a distraction!"

Kim took out the fingerprint kit once more and dusted the lever for any prints. She found two partial prints on the handle and picked them up through the special tape.

"And then…" she continued pointing to the door. "…the culprit exited through the back door until the cops arrived!" She observed the door handle and, this time, found a full fingerprint on the door. Like the two partials she found on the fire alarm handle, Kim carefully picked it up with the fingerprint tape.

"Wow, KP! You're on a roll here!" Ron shouted in amazement. Rufus clapped his paws.

"Thanks, Ron! Anywho, I'll get Wade to look into the security footage tomorrow and…." She yawned loudly, "…I need to catch up on two lost hours of sleep! We got all the evidence we need!"

"Second here, KP… I need to catch some rest too…" Ron replied, his eyes half-closed.

After a long hour and a half thorough investigation, the teens finally got a pickup ride from Mr. Charles, the same person who dropped them off earlier.

With evidence in hand, Kim was determined to know who the culprits were.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(_Flynn-Fletcher house, 4:15am)  
_

Inside her room, Candace and Stacy were sleeping peacefully. Once again, thoughts of Jeremy holding her in her arms filled her head.

"Oh, Jeremy! You're so big and strong..." Candace said in her sleep.

All of a sudden, she heard the sound of 500 bees right outside her house at full volume. The vibrations of the sound reached Candace's ears and woke up.

Candace opened her eyes to that frightful sound and gasped.

"Stacy...did you hear that?"

Stacy rubbed her eyes open, "Uhh...what is it, Candace?"

"There's a hive of KILLER BEES out there, Stacy! We gotta run!" Candace screamed at the top of her lungs.

Both Candace and Stacy screamed and ran in circles across the room.

The creaking of the opening door stopped them in their tracks.

"Oh no!" Stacy exclaimed, "The bees are going to get us!"

Once the door was fully open, however, it was none other than Linda.

"Mom! What are you doing here?!" Candace shouted. "And save yourself from the killer bees!"

"What do you mean...killer bees?" Linda asked.

"I heard a lot of buzzing outside of my room!" Candace described the sound.

"Oh that!" Linda understood, "I had to wake you up, dear. So I put a CD of annoying sounds in a radio right outside your room. I put it on the track of '70,000 People Blowing Vuvuzelas At One Time' at full volume!"

Candace was peeved by this and wanted an explanation. "Mom...why did you wake us up at 4:15 in the morning?"

Linda explained her reason, "Today's the day of the awesome and exciting journey that is ... quilting! We're going up to Tunica today!"

However, Candace didn't share her mom's entusiasm, "Can't this quiling class be rescheduled? Or, at the very least, be somewhere that's nearer and at a later time?"

"Sorry, Candace. I looked all over the Internet for any upcoming quilting classes for your Betty Jo's 80th birthday. I tried to find something in Danville, the Coast, Mobile, and New Orleans. Nothing came up!" Linda explained "I widened my search up north around Memphis until I found an open spot of a quilting class in Tunica."

"But, Mom!" Candace whined, "It's a six-hour drive to Tunica! And the Independence Day Fair in Danville is tonight!"

"Come on, Candace! It's not like it's going to be the end of the world for you!" Linda replied calmly.

"But it is!" Candace panicked, "Jeremy is going to perform a song about me at the concert tonight! I read the pamphlet for it that he's going be on stage at 9:45! I have to be there or else he'll stop liking me!" She was on the verge of breaking down.

To appease Candace, Linda replied in a calm manner, "Okay, Candace! Don't get all tied up in a knot over this! The quilting class will be over at 3:00. And since the concert begins at 9:00, we'll make it just in time! I can drop you off so that you and Jeremy can have a fun time together! Cool beans?"

Now in a more composed manner, Candace smiled and said, "Fine, Mom! Cool beans!"

"Good! Now get ready, 'cause we leave in about 45 minutes!" Linda said as she exited the room. But before she could leave the room, she also added. "Oh and also, I stumbled upon a Tom Sawyer Festival for the boys! I bought them costumes for the event!"

"Ohh…" Candace snickered, "I can't wait to see what they look like!" Stacy joined in on the giggles.

"And don't forget that I signed you two up for the hour-long 'Southern Accent' seminar!" Linda reminded them. She left the room and closed the door behind them.

"Stacy, we don't have a moment to lose!" Candace yelled, flinging Stacy's clothes on her bed.

"This is going to be one of those days…" Stacy muttered to herself.

* * *

(_30 minutes later)_

The Flynn-Fletchers were in the driveway, about to board. Candace and Stacy were in their usual outfits.

"Ohh….you two look so adorable!" Linda cooed over her sons.

"And quite fitting for the period, I'd say!" Lawrence chuckled a little.

Phineas was dressed as Tom Sawyer, and Ferb was dressed as Huck Finn, complete with period-era straw hats. Phineas himself was fully concentrated on reading _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. _Perry was dressed as a from to look like Tom Sawyer's frog, Rebel.

Candace and Stacy chuckled at their costumes.

"OMG! Those are so totally lame!" Candace laughed "They look like complete dorks!"

"I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those hillbilly clothes!" Stacy snickered.

"No way! They are totally not in fashion!" Candace scoffed.

"Anyways…" Linda interrupted them, "I told Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro, Mrs. Tjinder and Mrs. Van Stomm about the Mark Twain festival being held at Tunica!"

"The same place as the quilting class?" Candace uttered.

"The very same, dear." Linda said, "They're also holding a small auction, including a very rare autographed copy from Mark Twain himself from 1889! I think I can swing by there once the quilting class is over with!"

"I'll be at that auction too!" Lawrence chimed in.

"And I can be with Jeremy that night!" Candace squealed with excitement. "We'll be dancing to the song that he planned just for me, even though I don't know the lyrics yet!"

"We're going to meet up with the other parents for breakfast up in Batesville." Linda explained.

She then saw a car pulling into the driveway.

Linda recognized it immediately. "Oh, hello, Mr. Carter!"

"Hey, Mrs. Flynn. I'm just droppin' off Kim and Ron in the backseat." Mr. Carter said, pointing to the two teens half-asleep in the back.

"Kim?! Why did you stay up so late?" Linda questioned, going up to them.

"Uhh…" Kim groaned, rubbing her eyes. "I had a late-night investigation at Chez Couteaux… got the call at three in the morning…"

Ron was asleep, resting on Kim's head while Rufus was curled up in a ball on his owner's lap.

"Oh, poor thing!" Linda gasped with compassion in her voice. She glanced at Lawrence and said, "Can you get the extra-strength coffee?"

"No problem, luv! It's a good thing we brewed some!" Lawrence replied, heading back into the house.

Five minutes later, Kim and Ron were awake, cups of coffee in their hand.

"Thanks, Mrs. Flynn!" she smiled.

"No problem, Kim! We're going to be gone for most of the day for a family outing." Linda said about her day's plans. "Think you, Ron, and Monique can manage here for a few hours?"

"Of course, Mrs. Flynn! We'll just, in Ron's words, chillax around here!" Kim replied, taking a sip of the coffee.

"We have some frozen dinners in the fridge, so hopefully that'll tide you over for both lunch and dinner." Linda said, pointing to the refrigerator. She looked at the time on her watch.

"Whoops! I gotta leave right now, Kim! See you three this evening!"

"See you, Mrs. Flynn!" Kim said, waving to Linda before she headed on out with her family.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(_on I-55, near Batesville, 7:30am)_

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"For the last time, Candace, no! Just be patient! We're only 68 miles away from our family outing!" Linda glared, momentarily glancing at the rear mirror before concentrating back on driving on the interstate. "We still have to meet up with the other moms over in Batesville for breakfast."

"Fine, Mom..." Candace muttered as she leaned her head against the window. Row after row of trees were passing her by as if life were moving too fast for the almost-sixteen year old.

"Ugh...so boring..." she complained. Candace took out her cell phone and noticed that she only had one bar of signal strength.

_Great…now I won't be able to reach Jeremy for a couple of hours… _Candace griped, and then turned to her two brothers. _And I have to deal with my brothers who are driving me to my wits end! But once I bust them for…whatever idea they come up with…, my elusive goal will be achieved! _She smirked and grinned at both of them. However, Phineas wasn't even paying attention to his sister at all. He and Ferb were still captivated by some of the works of Mark Twain_. _

"Wow! This is exciting, Ferb! Can you imagine what life can be like on the Mississippi River? Just feeling the breeze through our straw hats, catching catfish as big as a car!" Phineas exclaimed over the attributes of the Great Father of Rivers.

_That's it, Phineas… _Candace thought to herself. _Say what I think you're going to do…wait…that's not how it goes! Okay, let's do it over again. Say what I believe you always say…. Ugh…messed it up again! _

"Still, I don't know what we're going to do today yet, Ferb!" Phineas said to his brother. "I know that it's early in the morning, but we do need to come up with an idea soon! Right, Perry and Ferb?"

Ferb nodded his head in agreement. Perry chattered in his frog costume.

* * *

_The SUV then went past the sign that said "_Welcome to Batesville, Mississippi: Home of the SP Tigers!"_

"Well…looks like we're here, kids!" Linda said as they pulled into the Batesville exit. "Now can you help me look for the Pancake Hut? We're all supposed to meet over there for certain scenes for a play version of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'."

Phineas looked to the right side of the highway while Candace looked on the left. Meanwhile, Stacy was asleep for the entire trip.

"Stacy…" Candace said, touching her on the shoulders. "Wake up!"

"Huh?! Candace?!" Stacy muttered.

"Duh, it's me, Stace! Who else do ya think?!" Candace scoffed, "Now help me find the Pancake Hut!"

"Fine…I'll look…" Stacy sighed. She turned her head to the left side of the highway and spotted the restaurant.

"There it is!" she exclaimed.

The SUV pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.

_  
(_7:45am, Flynn-Fletcher House)_

"Uhh…what a night…" Kim groaned, scratching her back. Monique was downstairs, making coffee.

"Hey girl, got a good night's sleep?" she asked, closing the coffeemaker.

"Unfortunately, no, Monique…" Kim uttered, rubbing the dark circles underneath her eyes.

"What's been eatin' at you lately?" Monique wondered as she took a seat.

"It's about what happened at Chez Couteaux last night." Kim said as she went to the refrigerator to get herself a cup of yogurt and a spoon from the drawer.

She threw away the wrapper and began eating the yogurt and replied in between bites.

"It's going to at least a couple of weeks for Mr. Couteaux to be back in business."

"But who would want to cause all that damage to the swankiest restaurant in all of Middleton?" Monique questioned, taking a sip of the coffee.

"That's what I've been trying to wrap my head around! I gave Wade the evidence, so he should complete his findings sometime this afternoon." Kim explained, finishing up the yogurt and throwing the cup in the garbage.

"Anyways, I'll check to see how Ron's doing up in the attic."

Back at the Pancake Hut, Linda was awaiting the other moms involved in the Tom Sawyer re-enactment for the Mark Twain festival.

"So, when are they going to be here?" Candace mumbled.

"They'll be here in a few minutes, Candace, and…" Linda said before three other vehicles pulled up into the parking lot, "Here they are!"

Mrs. Vivian Garcia-Shapiro was the first to get out of her car. She opened the back door so that Isabella can get out.

Isabella stood before Phineas with her usual black hair dyed blonde and wore a baby blue dress with petticoats underneath along with lace frocks underneath. The only thing that she kept was her pink bow. In other words, she looks almost exactly like Becky Thatcher of _Tom Sawyer._

"Hey, Linda!" Vivian said with a smile. "You like Isa's costume?"

"Of course, Viv!" Linda grinned. "She's perfect as Becky!"

Isabella replied eagerly, taking a generous bow "Why thank you, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher!"

"You're welcome, dear! Now, let's see what Buford and Baljeet look like." Linda replied, looking at the two other vehicles.

Ms. Van Stomm and Mrs. Tjinder came out from their respective cars and opened the doors for their sons.

Baljeet was wearing a nice pair of clean-pressed dress shorts and a shirt and tie. Buford emerged with a straw hat, a blue dress shirt, and trousers being attached by suspenders. They were taking on the roles of Alfred Temple and Joe Harper, respectively. Baljeet was also holding a picture book as well.

Buford snickered. "Hah, you chose the dweebiest character in the book!"

"This is no fair!" Baljeet complained, "I wanted to play as either Joe Rogers or Huck Finn! But nooo! I had to get the person who has to fight Tom Sawyer for the love of Becky!"

"Too bad that suit's going to get dirtied up!" Buford chuckled.

"And speaking of dirtied up, you don't want to get syrup on those costumes." Linda told them.

"Don't worry, Mom! These costumes will be clean before the end of the day!" Phineas said to his mom, tipping his straw hat.

"It's a good think I'm not partaking in that play and wearing one of those dorky costumes!" Candace scoffed with a wave of her hand, "Because I am practicing 'mah Southern accent' for Jeremy!"

"Oh, and speaking of which, Candace!" Linda interrupted, "I have the perfect costume just for you!"

Candace stopped in shock.

"What…?"

"Yep, I read the book and saw that Tom's brother, Sid Sawyer, always tattled on the title character all the time! So I think it's a perfect fit for your personality, Candace!" Linda said, popping open the trunk. "And I reserved a costume just for you after your Southern Accent class! But I want you to try it on right now and…see how it fits!"

Candace gasped at the costume in fear.

"Oh no! Oh, please no!"

* * *

The redhead emerged in a sailor suit over her usual outfit. In addition, she had a giant lollipop in her right hand.

"Oh great!" she lamented, "Now _I _look like the dork! Well, at least no one's taking pictures of me in this goofy costume!"

Then, Linda repeatedly took photos of her poor daughter.

"Why does karma always get me?" she complained.

"Aww…you look so cute in that sailor suit! I'm going to send it to the Annual Cute Costume Photos of Teens calendar to the moms of Danville, or ACCEPT for short!"

Candace's jaw dropped when her mom said this.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletchers', Kim went upstairs to the attic.

"Hey, Ron!"

"Oh, hey, KP! Got any breakfast cookin' downstairs?" Ron asked, rubbing that stomach of his.

"Monique and I are making some breakfast! Wanna chow down?" Kim offered.

"Tempting….tempting….." Ron pondered. Rufus was contemplating as well on his shoulder.

"We're making sausage and bacon tacos with extra nachos and Diablo sauce just for you and Rufus!" Kim replied in a sweet voice, sweetening the deal for Ron.

"Count me in, KP!" Ron replied without any hesitation.

He, Kim and Rufus headed downstairs for a delicious breakfast.

* * *

(_Middleton Institute of Science and Technology)_

Within the hallowed grounds of MIST, James Possible's alma mater, Dr. Lawn Green, the cousin of Dr. Sylvan Green, was experimenting with a rare type of grass that can help lawnmowers in the suburbs mow more evenly.

"Almost got it…" Dr. Green said before a shadow crept up from behind him.

"Huh?...Who are you?...No…NOOOOO!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(_The Pancake Hut, Batesville, 8am)_

The entourage entered into the restaurant where a waitress, named Belinda Sue, came to seat them. She was in her mid 20s, Caucasian skin, blonde-haired and blue-eyed, with her hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Hi, y'all! Welcome to the Pancake Hut! How many do y'all have in your party?"

"Five adults and seven children and one pet. I would like for myself, my husband, and the other parents will be in one both, Phineas and his friends in a second, and Candace and Stacy in a third. Perry will be with the kids." Linda said. She organized the seating arrangements beforehand.

"Right this way!" Belinda Sue replied, grabbing the menus. She pointed to three empty booths right near the windows.

The waitress then looked at the costumes the kids were wearing and asked a question to Linda.

"So, what are these young'uns dressed up for?"

"Oh, we're going to a Mark Twain festival up in Tunica. They're re-enacting scenes from his most famous story, _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer!" _Linda replied.

"Aww…." the waitress swooned, "…ain't they so cute? I read _Tom Sawyer _around seven times!"

"Wow! You must be a really big fan of Twain!" Linda exclaimed.

"Yes, yes I am!" Belinda Sue replied with a smile. She took out her pencil and writing pad and said "Now, what would y'all like to drink?"

Once the parents discussed what their breakfast drinks would be, Linda gave out her order.

"I would like three coffees, one with creamer and sugar and the other two with only sweeteners. My husband would like the unsweet English Tea and Mrs. Tjinder with a lemonade."

"Comin' right up!"

She walked next to the booth of Phineas and his friends.

"And for you young'uns?"

"Me and Ferb would like two glasses of milk. Isabella and Buford would each have an orange juice, and Baljeet would have chocolate milk! For Perry, can you give him some water?"

"You mean your pet frog, right?" Belinda Sue wondered, looking at Perry in his frog costume.

"He's not a frog, to be exact. He's a platypus in a frog costume. He doesn't do much."

"Ohhh…" Belinda Sue understood. "I'll get your plat-ey-pus some water right away!"

And finally, she came to Candace and Stacy's booth. Stacy was sitting across from Candace.

"Aww…she looks soooo cute!" she exclaimed, looking at Candace's sailor suit. Belinda Sue then pinched Candace's cheeks, speaking to her in baby talk, "Aww…who's the cutie-poo? Oh yes you are! Oh yes you are!"

"Please…stop…" Candace begged, "I'm supposed to be sixteen, not two!"

It didn't help much that her giant lollipop was sitting right next to her.

Once she stopped pinching Candace's cheeks, Belinda Sue got down to business.

"So what would you two like, and your little lolly?"

Candace was crestfallen. She buried her hands into her face at being treated like a child instead of a young lady about to be sixteen.

"I'll have a chocolate milk." Stacy replied, turning her head to her best friend.

"And I'll have coffee…three tall and large cups of black, dark-roasted coffee!" Candace muttered through her hands.

"Wow…three cups?!" Belinda Sue exclaimed in amazement.

"Let's just say that she needs the caffeine….and lots of it!"

"O…kay…"

The waitress wrote down the remainder of the drink orders and left.

* * *

"This…is officially the worst day of my life, Stacy…" Candace moaned, "I'm supposed to be sixteen! And people are still treating me as if I am two years old! And worse, that photo of me in this stupid sailor suit is circulating somewhere on the Internet! If Jeremy finds out about my photo, I'll never show my face in public ever again!"

"Candace, maybe you're overblowing this out of proportion!" Stacy replied, seeing Candace before in that state.

"I even made a paper bag saying that 'I AM MRS. LOSER' on it!" Candace sighed, showing Stacy the paper bag with the aforementioned writing on it.

"I retract my former statement!" Stacy said with realization. She then began to think.

"What are you contemplating, Stacy?"

"A way to help you to prevent Jeremy from seeing the photo!" Stacy explained. "Who knows if that photo can fall into the wrong hands?"

"But how? I would be humiliated if that happens!" Candace asked when Stacy's phone went off. The ringtone to her phone, though, was familiar to Candace. It was Four similar beeps going "beep-beep-be-beep"

All of a sudden, an image of Kim holding the Kimmunicator came up in her mind.

She gasped with joy.

"Stacy! That's it!"

"What's it, Candace?"

"You know that tech dude that we saw Kim talk to in that…Kime…Kimu...that….what-chamacallit?" Candace interjected, but pronouncing the name of the device wrong.

"Can you just call it her advanced phone?" Stacy suggested as Belinda Sue gave them their beverages.

"It was kinda like a yPhone but it had live chat on it!" Candace tried to explain, sipping on one of her three cups of coffee. "But that's not the point, Stacy! The point is that her tech dude can help me with that photo problem!"

"But how are you going to reach Kim? The cell signal isn't strong enough here!" Stacy said, bringing up another problem.

"You're right! Looks like we're going to have to wait until we get to the convention center." Candace sighed, continuing to sip her coffee. "I just don't want anyone to download that photo!"

"Don't fret, Candace! No one's even going to look at that photo!" Stacy grinned.

* * *

(_The Starlet Mansion)_

Veruca entered into the security wing of her best friend's mansion. Her ever-present servants were working on the computers, going through pictures of Candace.

"Come on! I need to find something humiliating so that I can blackmail her and set up the final phase of my plan to destroy Candace's life!" the heiress exclaimed. "And I don't want to be late on my trip to London!"

"Do not worry, Our Glorious Leader! We shall find you a humiliating photo of Candace soon enough!" Servant 55 replied.

Veruca sighed, resting on her golden lion throne.

_Sometimes, I am surrounded by idiots._

Then, a beeping came from the computer.

"I found a photo, Our Goddess of Perfection! I found one!" Servant 55 exclaimed.

"Print it out and bring it to me!" Veruca demanded.

Servant 55 printed out the photo and brought it to his 17 ½ year old superior.

Veruca grabbed it from his hands and smirked.

"Yes! This is the final ingredient that I need! You shall be promoted to Servant 51!"

"Thank you, O All-Seeing Leader of Glory!"  
_

* * *

At the kids' booth, Phineas still pondered on the Big Idea.

"Hmm…what can we do on the Mississippi River?" he wondered, "There's gotta be something that we can build!"

"Phineas, if it is fine by you, maybe you can brainstorm some ideas from my picture book!" Baljeet offered, holding the picture book in his two hands. It was about the Mississippi River itself.

"Pfft…" Buford remarked, "What good's that going to do?"

"I was only trying to help him!" Baljeet countered.

"Point taken. But the next time Phineas is thinking of an idea, I am going to help him first!" Buford demanded.

Isabella groaned, but said nothing and folded her arms, glaring at Buford.

Phineas received the photo book and looked through it, turning through the pages.

"Let's see….boring…boring…AHH…boring…"

Then he came across a picture of two steamboats, the _Natchez _and the _Robert E. Lee _, racing. It was titled as "The Great Steamboat Race of 1870".

Phineas observed the picture with extreme interest.

"That's it!"

"What's it, Dinner Bell?" Buford asked.

"We can race steamboats like what they did over 100 years ago!" Phineas replied, showing the picture to the rest of his friends.

"But how?" Baljeet wondered, "Steamboats are relatively slow to race in today's standards as compared to 1870! They are not equipped to handle the rigors of 21st century travel…"

"…Until now!" Phineas grinned.

"Guys, I know what we're gonna do today! We're going to bring steamboats into the 21st century and make the best and most badical steamboat race ever!" he shouted with joy.

"Badical?" Buford questioned the phrase.

"I got it from Ron." Phineas replied with a smile. "Hey, maybe Perry would like to be first mate!"

He looked around and asked.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry crawled to the men's restroom and locked it. Since it was unoccupied, Perry tossed aside his frog costume, stood upright, and put on his fedora.

Agent P pressed a tile on the floor, which activated a tube. He jumped into the tube and began to slide upwards out of the restaurant. He landed feet-first on top of an 18-wheeler and another tube came and sucked him downward to his seat.

The eighteen-wheeler was modified with his equipment and his briefing monitor. On the outside, the side of the truck read: "**O**ur **W**orldwide **C**herry-picking-truckers of **A**merica"

Major Monogram came on-screen and said, "Morning, Agent P! Ah, I see that you found our new modified Eighteen-Wheeler lair! You like it so far?"

Agent P gave his approval, a thumbs-up.

"Now, let's git er' rollin' … or however that's supposed to go!"

The eighteen-wheeler drove from the restaurant and merged onto the interstate. Monogram began his briefing.

"We have intelligence sources pointing to Doofenshmirtz's latest whereabouts, a submarine right underneath the Mississippi River! Carl went undercover and investigated the scene from Natchez from a nearby bed and breakfast overlooking the river!"

"I cannot wear that disguise ever again!" Carl exclaimed, "I looked like a girl!"

To Agent P's horror, Carl came onscreen wearing a Southern belle ballgown and a bonnet. He also held a parasol in his hands.

Monogram continued with the briefing. "Earlier, he has stolen the following items: Seventy gallons of Canadian extra-sticky syrup, one rhinestone jumpsuit, and, most disturbingly, two-hundred orders of bacon, peanut butter and sliced banana sandwiches! Find out what Doofenshmirtz is up to and sink his plans to the bottom of the river!"

Agent P saluted to his superior and activated his jetpack. A hole opened up at the top of the trailer of the eighteen-wheeler as he flew through. He began his search, planning to stop Doofenshmirtz's latest plan.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

(10 am, Flynn-Fletchers)

The hot 90 degree summer sun continued to beat down on the house. It wasn't the heat that slipped through the door, but the brutal humidity that engulfed the entire living room with the three teens and one naked mole rat on the couch. Monique was in her usual red dress while Kim was in a pink top and jean capris.

"Ughhh…." Kim muttered, "I'm bored….and hot….!"

"I'm melting…!" Monique whined, trying to fan herself with a magazine "And the A/C is broken too!"

"You don't have to tell me twice…" Ron moaned. He felt his clothes clinging to the fabric of the couch due to the humid weather. Poor Rufus was slouching on the coffee table.

"And there's no lemonade!" Kim uttered, staring at the empty pitcher on the coffee table. "If there was only some way we can get out of this house!"

Monique looked at the magazine, which was about the Gulf Coast, paused for a moment and got an idea.

"Girl, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

She held the magazine so that Kim could get a good luck.

A smile came across her face and replied, "I'm thinking…beach trip!"

"Of course!" Monique grinned, "We're in the summer and it's hot outside! So what better way to cool off than a trip to the beach?"

"That's a spankin' idea, Monique!" Kim grinned, "It'll get my mind off of cheerleading and babysitting for at least one day!"

"Could I come?" Ron asked, waving his hands.

"Ron, don't you remember what had happened last time on the beach? You know…the bathing suit incident?" Kim asked.

"KP, we agreed never to speak about the bathing suit incident ever again!" Ron declared.

Kim rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, but please don't do anything embarrassing over there!"

"Don't worry, Kim! I've set up an embarrassment-free zone around myself!" Ron replied, using his fingers to draw an imaginary square in the air. "No source of humiliation will fall upon me!"

"I hope so…and one other thing, Monique!"

"Yeah, Kim?"

"If we're going to be at the beach all day long, who's going to hold down the fort from Mrs. Linda?" Kim asked.

"Don't worry, Kim! I have an idea!" Monique smiled, taking her cell phone out.

* * *

(_40 minutes later)  
_

"So all we have to do is to stay here for the next few hours till dinnertime?" Tara asked.

"And be stuck in a house in a broken air conditioner? Kim…I'm not so sure about this…" Bonnie said with worry, unsure that they would withstand being stuck in a house with broken A/C for the next 7 hours.

The group was all standing in the driveway in back on Monique's car.

"Well, someone needs to keep an eye on the house!" Monique replied.

Kim came out of the house, complete with the essentials for the beach: towels, an umbrella to protect them from the sun, sunscreen, and a big floppy sunhat. Ron, behind her, came out wearing a Wonder Weasel t-shirt and a bathing suit. The only thing he brought along was a pair of noseplugs.

Rufus already had his sunglasses ready, looking stylish.

"Look, we'll give you two a call when we get to the beach." Kim said, opening the passenger door to Monique's car. She tossed a copy of the house key that Linda made to Tara.

"I already called up Dad and he said to be back at the Flynn-Fletchers' by eight. There are frozen dinners in the fridge that should tide you two over. Are you ready to undertake this task?"

Both Bonnie and Tara nodded their heads.

The three teenagers got in the car as Monique started her vehicle up.

"See you two at eight!"

Monique's car pulled out of the driveway, en route to a day of fun in the sun with her besties on the Fourth on July.

From a nearby tree at a neighbor's house, Kate Saunders, one of Veruca's girls, spied on them with a pair of binoculars. She was on a walkie-talkie.

"The pig is out of the pen! I repeat, the pig is out of the pen!"

* * *

(_Starlet Mansion, 10am)_

Veruca, meanwhile, was in her second-floor personal office with security monitors everywhere to keep a close watch on the activity of her servants. She was in her personal-made high-end ergonomic chair overlooking the security room through double-paned glass windows.

Diamond, meanwhile, was in her custom-made $400,000 cat palace, complete with a golden water dish and European-cotton pet bed.

"Aww…Diamond…" Veruca cooed, babbling in baby talk at her white-furred cat "You are so adorable! Oh yes, you are!"

There came a tapping at the closed door.

"Come in!"

She heard the door opening and closing and swerved her chair around. It was none other than her most favorite servant, bowing three times to her.

"Oh, Tightlips! So good to see you!" Veruca exclaimed. "What is the latest report?" She began to sip on her tea.

"It seems that the latest report we received is that of the red-haired demon going with her so-called 'friends' to the beach!"

Veruca paused while stroking Diamond and replied with a slight grin, "Oh yes…Suzy must've put one of her tracking devices on her car!"

"When do you plan to give your triumphant speech against the red-haired Evil One?" Tightlips questioned, pointing to one of Veruca's prepared speeches.

"I will speak that speech when the time is right, Tightlips!" Veruca replied, patting Diamond's head. "I am in the midst of preparing my third phase of my grandiose plan! And I would…you know…like some privacy!"

Tightlips bowed once and said, "It shall be done, O All-Seeing Goddess!" He closed the door to Veruca's office, leaving the billionaire heiress alone.

Veruca sifted through her papers of the next phase of her plan of preventing Candace from getting on the squad…her squad! She broke out into a cold sweat as she clenched one of the papers in her hands. Her breaths became shorter, and the smile faded away into a look of fright.

It was part of the plan that she dreaded the most. Unfortunately, it was also going to be the only way to scare Candace out of her wits.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(_Tunica Convention Center, 9am)_

The family SUV pulled into the parking lot of the convention center and came to a complete stop.

"And here we are!" Linda said while turning off the engine.

"Finally! We made it!" Candace exclaimed, undoing her seatbelt. She looked on her cell phone and it had three bars of signal strength.

"So when are you going to make the call to Kim?" Stacy asked.

"Just as soon as I get out of this stinkin' suit!" Candace complained, "I can't afford an embarrassing photo of myself!"

"Don't worry about it, Candace! We'll return by tonight with your dignity intact and that photo gone from the Internet!" Stacy replied, keeping an upbeat mood.

"Don't forget your lollipop!" Linda cooed.

Candace shuddered, grabbing her giant lollipop.

"Mom…" she asked, scratching her back and her hands "…can I please get out of this suit? It's really starting to itch me!"

"Sorry, dear." Linda apologized, gathering all of her quilting supplies. "I have my hands full with my quilting stuff. Remember that you and the boys need to be at the stage for the Tom Sawyer re-enactment at two!"

"But what are they going to do, Linda?" Lawrence whispered. "They obviously can't be in the casino area!"

"I know, Lawrence!" Linda replied to her husband. "Luckily, I went through the brochure before we left."

Then she turned to the kids and said, "How about a steamboat race on the Mississippi River?"

"Wow! I was just exactly thinking that, Mom!" Phineas said with a smile.

"Steamboat racing is going to be exciting!" Isabella squealed with joy.

Linda gave each of the kids ten dollars.

"Here you go. This should cover you for lunch!" she replied, "Hope that'll give you enough energy for the play! Now, I am off to the quilting class!"

"Oh, and Candace?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"You're in charge of the group! I hope that you are mature enough to watch them!" Linda replied, pointing to the kids.

"You can count on me, Mom!" Candace grinned before glaring at her brothers. "I'll watch 'em like a hawk!"

"Then it's settled! We'll meet back at quarter to two!"

And so, the parents departed for now: Linda to the quilting class, and Lawrence to the casino.

* * *

Meanwhile, Agent P flew in the air, on the hunt for Doofenshmirtz. He pulled out a pair of binoculars to find the submarine Doofenshmirtz has been hiding in.

He pressed a button on the side of his jetpack. A miniature screen came on with Monogram's face on it.

"Ah, Agent P! Still having trouble finding Doofenshmirtz's submarine?"

Agent P nodded his head.

"You will easily recognize it since he painted a picture of himself on the hull on the submarine! Although it looks like something a three-year old would draw…"

Agent P received this info as he descended downward from the skies. From there, he spotted Heinz's sub on the Mississippi River near the city of Greenville with a crude-looking picture of himself on the exterior of the submarine. It was moving past the Highway 82 Bridge.

(_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!)  
_

He flew to the top of the submarine, when, all of a sudden, a secret panel opened from beneath him. Agent P fell into a platypus-sized rhinestone jumpsuit with clamps applied to the hands and feet.

Heinz turned his chair around and chuckled.

"Welcome, Perry the Platypus, to my submarine lair!" he grinned, looking at the trapped Agent P. "You like my rhinestone jumpsuit trap? I had to find one that had the size of platypus on it and it was the only one, so I bought it on the Internet!"

Doofensmirtz laughed a little and continued, "Actually, the rhinestone jumpsuit trap is a perfect fit for my latest scheme, Perry the Platypus!"

"For you see, I've always had a burning hatred and despise towards that one group of people that annoy me the most….Elvis impersonators!"

He began to clench his fists in anger upon saying Elvis impersonators. Agent P, on the other hand, looked at Doof with a blank stare and rolled his eyes.

"The thing is that I don't have a problem with Elvis at all. He was a good musician with a lot of hits and a lot of pink cars! Personally, I wouldn't be seen driving around in a car that's pink! It would make me like…you know…a sissy girl!"

"But I'm getting off the point! It's not about Elvis that bring my blood to a boil, but it's the impersonators! You know, the ones who think they are Elvis, but they are not!"

"Here comes the part where I reveal the backstory on why Elvis impersonators annoy me so much!"

* * *

_(sad violin music)_

"_It all started when I was in the tenth grade at Gimmelshtump High School. _

_The town recently decided that, after a twenty-year ban on Elvis's music, they would finally allow their students to listen to it. The ban was in place because the people believed that it cursed their town with witches and goblins!_

_I started listening to Elvis' music and, for once in my otherwise-miserable childhood, I totally enjoyed something! I even danced it with my pet roach, Hoarfrost! My parents, of course, didn't like the music!_

_(Heinz's father knocks on the door and yells: Turn that awful music down, son!)_

_Since they realized that Elvis had been deceased for two years, they decided to hold an Elvis Impersonator Appreciation week at the school. About forty impersonators came to the school that day. I was so excited and giggled like a little schoolgirl._

_At first, I was happy that the impersonators came to the school, saying Elvis' most favorite phrases and doing his lip curl!_

Impersonator 1: Thank you, thank you very much!

_Impersonator 2: Uhh-huh!_

_But then, they got real old, real fast as the week wore on! Those phrases were absolutely driving me crazy! And then…one day, while I was getting lunch…the unfortunate happened…_

_(As young Doofenshmirtz was receiving his lunch of mystery meat slop on the tray, one of the fatter Elvis impersonators in line thrusted his hips and shouted 'Thank you, thank you very much' in the Southern drawl and bumped into the young Doofenshmirtz's tray so hard that it caused the slop to fly all over Heinz's face)_

__  
_  
"Every day since that incident, I've vowed my revenge for what they did to me!" Doofenshmirtz sneered. "And now, the time has finally arrived! "Feast your eyes on my latest creation, Perry the Platypus!"

He pressed a button on the submarine as a device in the shape of Elvis' pompadour came out with a ray emerging from the front. Two tanks were in the back of the device: one with Canadian syrup on the left, and the other with a yellowish liquid on the right.

"The Elvis-impersonator-begone-inator!" he proclaimed as dramatic music played.

"It's not to be confused with my Be-gone-inator from many schemes ago, Perry the Platypus! My plan is to drive my submarine up the Mississippi River to the Memphis Convention Center. A lot of Elvis impersonators are going to attend that place with their horrible lyrics and their awful sideburns! Not anymore! Once I get into position and zap my Elvis-impersonator-begone-inator on the convention center, it will make all the Elvis impersonators disappear off the face of the Tri-State Area!" he shouted out loud.

"It's also powered by a combination of Canadian syrup and Elvis' most favorite food: bacon, peanut butter and sliced banana sandwiches! I had to blend them up because the sandwiches….heh-heh…would be useless in their usual form, Perry the Platypus!"

"Which reminds me…where's the mustard?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

(_11am, Hwy 49, near Perkinston)_

Monique's car traveled down Highway 49 South en route to the Gulf Coast. She rolled down the windows to allow the summer wind to travel through Kim's hair. Kim smiled, reaping the cool air through the strands of that long red hair of hers on a sweltering and hot summer day.

Ron, on the other hand, stuck his head out of the window of the back seat. He stuck out his tongue, panting. Rufus did the same thing as his owner.

"Ron…!" Kim griped, "What is it with you sticking your tongue out like a basketball player?"

"It helps me look cool, Kim!" Ron said, feeling the breeze.

"You know that you're going to catch something sooner or later if you continue doing that…" Kim warned him.

"Oh come on, KP! A little tongue-sticking won't hurt!" Ron chuckled, brushing off Kim's warning.

Kim's pupils widened, looking at the car ahead of them. She retreated her head back into the car. Rufus too ducked his head.

"Hey, what's everyone ducking their heads for?" Ron wondered.

And then, dog slobber began to be pelted on his face…repeatedly. They were behind Ned's car with his bloodhound in the front seat, his slobber traveling at 70 miles an hour into the direction of Ron.

"Ewww!" Ron shouted with disgust, his face completely covered with slobber. Rufus spotted a towel and tossed it up to Ron.

"Ugh…dog cooties! I hate it when dogs do that to me!"

"That's why I told you get your head out of the window…" Kim muttered. She pressed the buttons that rolled the windows up.

"The Ron-man has his embarrassment-free zone up now! I promise that no event of shame or humiliation will fall upon me after this!" Ron proclaimed, wiping the slobber off his face.

"Hopefully the zone can stay up for the entire day…" Kim uttered upon hearing the Oh Boyz "Hello, Hello, Hello" ringtone on her phone. She picked it up.

_K: Hello?_  
_C: Kim! Kim! Kim!_  
_K: Oh…uhh…hey Candace! What's up?_  
_C: Kim, we have….. major problem ….here! Photo of myself…..sailor suit…. the Internet! Oh my Gawd! I'm, like, panicking here! _

_K: Whoa, Candace! Calm down! Take a few deep breaths and tell me the whole sitch!_

_C: (takes a few deep breaths) There's an awful photo that my Mom took of myself dressed in a sailor suit!_

_K: Why are you even dressed in a sailor suit?_

_C: It's for some stupid Tom Sawyer re-enactment play that's going to happen this afternoon. The important thing is that if Jeremy finds out about that photo before the Independence Day concert begins tonight, he'll never like me again! That's why I had to call you up!_

_K: Me? Why?_

_C: Because you have the Keme…Kimu….ughh…I can't say it right!_

_K: You mean my Kimmunicator? What about it?_

_C: It's about the tech guy that you always talk with!_

_K: Oh! You must be talking about Wade!_

_C: Yes! Him! He's the perfect person who can help me with my photo problem!_

_K: So in other words, you need me to reach Wade so that he can delete the embarrassing photo…_

_C: Duh! Of course!_

_K: Okay…I'll get Wade on the Kimmunicator to delete the photo._

_C: Oh, thank you, Kim! How can I ever repay you?_

_K: How about I owe you a trip to the ice cream parlor tomorrow after practice?_

_C: It's a deal!_

_K: Okay, I'll talk to you later on tonight, Candace!_

_C: 'kay! Bye!_

Kim put away her cell phone and took out her Kimmunicator as Wade appeared on-screen.

"Hey, Kim! I see that you're going out for some R&R!" Wade grinned.

"Obviously, Wade! We did need to get out of the furnace that was the Flynn-Fletcher house!" Kim said with a smile.

"Broken A/C?" Wade guessed.

Kim nodded her head. "Plus, a little break from cheerleading for at least a few hours!"

Wade understood and then asked, "So what can I help you with today, Kim?"

"Wade, I need you to find a photo of Candace in a sailor suit, even though that does sound a little creepy to me!" Kim said, taking Candace 's request seriously.

"Let's see what I can whip up!" Wade replied, typing on his computer. "Oh yeah, that…does look pretty embarrassing!"

"Lemme see!" Kim insisted. Wade turned his computer around to see the ghastly image of Candace in the sailor suit and giant lollipop.

"Oh yeah, Wade…" she grimaced at the sight of the picture, "…that does border on the Humiliation Nation line!"

Ron peered from the back seat and, upon looking at the picture, began to chortle.

"Ron!" Kim exclaimed, a bit stunned at Ron's behavior.

"Sorry, KP! Just couldn't…help…it!" Ron apologized in-between fits of giggling.

"Just delete the picture, Wade, before anyone downloads it!" Kim requested.

Wade typed on the computer, putting his 90 words a minute skills to good use.

"And….it's gone!" Wade declared as the photo disappeared from his computer monitor.

"Crisis averted!" Kim grinned. "Lemme put you on hold, Wade!"

She quickly took out her phone and dialed Candace's number. The phone rang three times before going to Candace's inbox.

_This is Candace Flynn. Sorry if I can't come to the phone right now. I am either with my wonderful Jeremy or out there busting my goofy brothers for their ideas. So just leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you ASAP! Thanks!_

"Hey Candace, it's me, Kim! Wade took care of your photo problem. Just call me back on my cell number and maybe we can have ice cream together!"

Little did she realize that the photo had already been printed out once.

* * *

Along the path, Phineas was putting the final touches of the race course when Isabella came up to him.

"Hey Phineas! Whatcha y'all doin'?" came the reply from Isabella.

"I'm putting up the final touches on the course so that we can be back in time for the Twain re-enactment at two." Phineas said.

"If you need a fresh new engine in the steamboats, Phineas, us Fireside Girls will be glad to help! We're trying to earn our Steamboat Engineering Patches!"

"Cool! And you'll earn it in no time!" Phineas grinned. "The planned course is complete! Now…to find some steamboats!"

* * *

At the banks of the Mississippi River, Phineas and his group came upon a group of people with two steamboats on the river. However, the steamboats arrived in horrible shape with wood rotting and the paddlewheels broken, unable to race.

"Oh please, if someone can help us!" the judge of the race bemoaned. "If someone can raise these mighty machines just in time for our race!"

"I think we can help!" Phineas interjected.

"Huh? How can you do that?" the judge asked. "The race starts in an hour and our boats are in disrepair!"

"Just leave that to us!" Phineas assured the judge.

The judge gestured to the damaged boats, "Well…these boats are in your hands, young fellers! They're all yours!"

"Say…" a second judge interrupted, "…aren't them young'uns a little too young to be repairin' steamboats and bringin' 'em up to date!"

"Yes…yes they are." the first judge replied. He turned to Phineas and said, "Sorry, Phineas, it's his first year judgin' a steamboat race!"

"No problem!" Phineas replied to the judge before turning to his friends, "Okay, gang! Let's get our toolboxes ready and get those steamboats in racin' form!"

(_The "Quirky Worky Song" plays in the background while Phineas inserts in some fresh new planks for the steamboat on the left while Ferb welds the metal together with a blowtorch. Buford and Baljeet grab fresh lumps of coal for the boilers and Isabella repairs the paddlewheel in her Becky Thatcher costume.) _

* * *

(_Somewhere in the Southern Louisiana bayous…)_

"Wake up, Dr. Green…Wake up, young laddie!"

Dr. Lawn Green came finally to consciousness, only to realize that he was handcuffed behind a wooden chair. He eyed his surroundings as he came to the conclusion that he was in a room. The room was dimly lit as a figure stood in the shadows.

"Welcome to Lucifer's Cove! This abandoned steamboat may not be me main hideoot, but in this case, it will suffice for me latest scheme!"

"And what scheme, may I ask, are you planning?" Dr. Green shouted to the figure.

"Let's just say that a gulf will be a part of golf, thanks to ye research!"

* * *

Back in Tunica, Candace got off the phone with Kim. Stacy was right next to her. The two of them were 150 feet behind the banks of the river, not yet looking at what her brothers had built.

"Okay, Stacy…that takes care of my embarrassing photo problem, which she'll get to… now what's missing on the list to do for today….?"

Stacy tapped her friend on the shoulder twice.

"Stacy! Can't you see I'm trying to think?" Candace yelled.

"What about your brothers building steamboats on the river?"

She pointed to a pair of two smoking boilers sticking out of the trees.

"What?!" Candace exclaimed, looking behind her. She gasped in surprise, because she knew that only her brothers would be capable of doing feats like that.

"Come on, Stacy!" Candace demanded, grabbing Stacy's hand. "Let's bust my brothers!"

Both of them headed towards the banks of the river.

The two girls continued on the short pathway as they came to the banks of the river. There, they saw two steamboats on the river, looking good as new, and ready to race. One of the ships, the one Phineas is on, had a picture of Perry on it while the other ship, captained by Buford, had the picture of his goldfish on it.

"Phineas! Ferb! What are you doing this time?" Candace demanded an answer.

"Hey, Candace!" Phineas replied with a smile. "All of us are going to be racing steamboats on the Mississippi River!"

"And what's with the lollipop?" Phineas quipped, pointing to the piece of candy still in his sister's hand.

"It's a part of the costume, okay?!" Candace shouted.

He then began to explain the course, "Me, Isabella and you, Candace, are going to be on the ship on the left, the _Perry. _Ferb, Buford and Stacy will be on board the other ship, the _Biff. _Baljeet will be our referee._"_

"I named this ship myself!" Buford proudly declared in a loud voice.

Phineas continued, "We're going to start from Tunica, zoom down the Mississippi River and reach the halfway point at Greenville. After we reach the turnaround buoy, we'll zoom back to Tunica just in time for the re-enactment!"

Candace laughed a little at the notion. "I'm not falling for one of your tricks again! And aren't you dreaming a little too much, Phineas? Steamboats are supposed to go as slow as a turtle! Mom'll bust you even before the race begins!"

"Ferb! Let's fire this puppy up!"

Ferb pressed a red button that said "ULTRA STEAM BOAT RACING MODE" on it. Both the _Biff _and the _Perry _transformed before Candace's very eyes as the smokestacks folded in a horizontal position.

"You see, Candace!" Phineas explained the transformation, "We manipulated the steamboats with stock car racing engines with top speeds of 140 miles an hour so that the race can be a bit more, you know, interesting!"

"Ohhhh…" Candace giggled, "…this is _definitely _deep into busting territory! Come on, Stacy! We gotta show this to Mom!" She looked around and realized that Stacy has already boarded the _Biff. _

"Urrrghhh!" she grunted with frustration, stomping aboard the _Perry. _"Why do I always have to always go through this?!"

The two steamboats were at the starting mark, head to head.

"You're going down!" Buford declared.

"Hey, that's my line!" Candace yelled, "You stole it from me!"

"Finders keepers!" Buford taunted.

"Urghh…once this little race of theirs is over, I'll bust them for sure!" Candace muttered to herself.

From below, Baljeet was counting down, airhorn in hand. "Five….four….three…two…."

He accidentally blared the airhorn at 'two' and the steamboats zoomed off on the Mississippi, splashing water on Baljeet.

"One…"  
_

_(Banjo and electric guitar play in the background)_

"_Ridin' on the River"_

_(lyrics)_

_Steamboat racin' used to be boring back in the day_

_But now that we're in the 21__st__ century_

_It's no longer that way!_

_(chorus: Oooo that way!)_

We're ridin' on the King of Rivers

_The Mississsippi River!_

_At 120 miles an hour_

_Twistin' and turnin', Steamin' and burnin'_

_It has stock-car racin' engine power!_

_So don't get wet and shiver _

'_Cause we're ridin' on the river!  
'Cause we're ridin' on the river!_

_Crusin' along the curves and bends_

_As this song comes to an end_

_Mark Twain, eat your heart out_

_Just look at those steamboats and shout_

_That it's a…  
_

_Water-kickin', heart-thumpin'_

_Riverwheel-turnin', feet-stompin'_

_One heck of a race!_

_We're ridin' on the river!_

_Ridin' on the river!_

_Ridin' on the river! (River!)_

_Ridin' on the RIVER!_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

(_the Starlet Mansion)_

Veruca panicked with fright, hyperventilating at the sight she dreaded the most. Her heart began to race at a faster pace, like it was about to bust out of her chest.

The heiresses' breaths became shorter, her palms began to sweat, and she was beginning to see visions of the Devil in her head.

She was suffering a full-blown panic attack that was triggered by the one thing that she truly feared the most, other than losing her captainship on the squad to Kim.

It was a picture of…a squirrel.

"Get that…..GOD DAMN filthy beast out of my sight!" she screamed, rocking her body back and forth in a fetal position. The plans lay crumpled up on the floor.

She could hear those annoying chit-chattering of the squirrels on that infamous day in Wonka's Nut Room when those ninety-nine squirrels pinned her down to the floor. And the tapping of the leading squirrel on her head echoed in her mind. Finally, she heard her own screams as she fell through that garbage chute.

It was too painful and traumatic for the girl.

Veruca crawled to her desk and yelled in the intercom as loud as she could.

"TIGHTLIPS! GET IN HERE NOW!"

After five minutes, Tightlips, accompanied by eight other of her servants, entered into the office. The leader of all of Veruca's servants was shaken by his employer...trembling with fear.

* * *

Of all the 15,000 servants Veruca has under her control, only the top 20 of them knew of her fear of squirrels. Even then, it was underneath Veruca's law, that is, within the grounds of her mansion and in her presence, that no servant ever brings up even the word 'squirrel' in the presence of the Salt heiress. Those twenty servants that know of her fear of squirrels, including Tightlips, can only say 'that phobia' in front of Veruca. Any servant, according to the Servant Code, whoever broke this law would be sent to the Prison Mansion to earn a trip to the Veruca Special, a horrifying concoction of disgusting and foul ingredients.

To further this belief, the administration of the sole K-12 school that existed within the grounds of the mansion always edit out Veruca's fear of squirrels. They were all doing this underneath a poster of a larger-than-life Veruca with her eyes looking down on her servants. The text itself read, in bold letters "BIG VERUCA IS WATCHING YOU".

The textbooks themselves were filled with outlandish things such as Veruca using her super-strong arms to carry a man to the moon, creating the stars, earth, moon, and the heavens in nine days, or making chocolate rain falling from the sky for kids to enjoy. It was all a way to maintain Veruca's image as a godhead, beloved and worshipped by her servants.

Of course, Veruca couldn't enforce the laws of her mansion on the townspeople or the students of Middleton High, or else she'd face lawsuits. So instead, she would rely on her popularity throughout the school to maintain her reputation. They would basically TP any student's house that even does mention the word 'squirrel' around the vicinity of Veruca. The lone exception was usually against Kim. The redhead said 'squirrel' in Veruca's presence around four times during her freshman and sophomore years, yet neither Veruca nor her friends even touched her house because of Kim's very high reputation.

* * *

"O Great Goddess, I heard that you were in trouble! Is there anything we can do to help you?" Tightlips asked with concern while the servants prostrated to Veruca.

Veruca took a few deep breaths.

"Just get me a glass of water, Tightlips!" she commanded.

Tightlips gave a grunt to the servants and barked, "Fetch the Goddess water, NOW!"

The servants bowed and left her presence.

"Was it….'that phobia', Our Royal Princess?" Tightlips asked.

"Yes, Tightlips, I saw an image of….that!" Veruca shuddered, shivering to her core.

"But…what can we do about it, O Goddess of the Sun?"

"I'll think about it, Tightlips…alone!" Veruca muttered.

Tightlips walked to the door and asked "Anything else, O All-Seeing Leader?"

"Just leave me be!" Veruca screamed.

Afraid of escalating the heiress' anger, Tightlips closed the door, leaving Veruca alone to confront the greatest obstacle to her plan.

* * *

(_The Gulf Coast, 1:15pm)_

The girls sighed in ecstasy and happiness. The wonderful feeling of sand between their feet was an open welcome from the stresses of handling Candace and the drudgery of babysitting."Ahh…" Kim sighed with relaxation, laying down on her towel. "…finally, a natural tan and a cool gulf breeze!"

"So good to get out of the life of routine and same ol'-same ol'!" Monique quipped, squirting sunscreen on her skin.

"Yeah! Nothing to distract me for at least a few hours!" Kim laughed, closing her eyes and allowing the sun to give her some of the necessary Vitamin K on her skin.

And then her cell phone began to ring the "Hello, Hello, Hello" ringtone again.

"I totally have to change the tone on this thing…" Kim muttered as she picked up the phone.

_K: Hello?_

_C: Kim! You have to see this! My brothers made steamboats that go 140 miles an hour and are racing them!_

_K: (snark) Excuse me, Candace, but we are in the middle of a beach, trying to relax! I'm not going to travel up north for over 200 miles just to see nothing! I bet that whatever Phineas and Ferb are doing is playing toy steamboats on a stream! Now if you'll excuse me, me and Monique need our R and R!|_

She immediately hung up her cell phone and placed it back in the beach bag.

"So what's with Candace this time?" Monique asked.

Kim sighed, knowing that she had seen the video of Candace reacting to the disappearing of the lawnmower course yesterday.

"It's just one of her wild stories of her brothers making some imaginary steamboats! Now let's think no more of this and concentrate on our getting rays!"

And so, they laid down on their backs, trying to get a perfect tan.

About 200 feet away from them, Ron brought his own towel adorned with Bueno Nacho on it. As for Rufus, he brought his little towel along.

"Here!" the mole rat squeaked, pointing to an open spot.

"Ah, such a beautiful day!" Ron sighed with a smile, laying down the towel. "Now, to apply sunscreen on myself!"

He closed his eyes and grabbed what appeared to be sunscreen from his beach bag.

Ron rubbed it all over his chest, his legs, and his arms.

"Mmm…this sunscreen smells good! Wonder what's in it?"

* * *

Back on the Mississippi River, Candace was frustrated that Kim cut her off during her call.

"Ugh…since I can't get Kim to look at what Phineas and Ferb did, I'll have to call Mom!"

She attempted to dial the number to Linda's phone.

Phineas, at the helm of the _Perry, _turned on the intercom to the _Biff. _

"Um, guys, we're about near the turnaround buoy! So let's turn these doggies around!"

He swung the ship's him to the left. Buford, aboard the _Biff, _did the same with his.

As the ship turned around at a speed of 90 miles an hour, the violent movement rocked Candace while she was trying to dial Linda's phone.

The giant lollipop that she had in her hand for all this time loosened from her grasp. It flew into the air as Candace looked up, dumbfounded and speechless. The force of gravity did its part as the lollipop fell down and landed…in Candace's hair!

"Oh no…" she exclaimed! "This isn't happening! This isn't HAPPENING!"

Candace found a handheld mirror and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"NOW I LOOK UGLY!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Kim and Monique took a deep breath and inhaled the sea breeze that emitted from the Gulf of Mexico. The waves were crashing along the crystal sand of the beach as onlookers enjoyed a marvelous Fourth of July with friends and family. It was a cloudless summer blue sky.

"Ah...this is perfect, Monique!" Kim smiled, "The sun is shining...the waves are churning...kids are playing with beach balls!"

"And there's nothing that can interrupt this perfect day!" Monique replied with a positive grin.

However, the Kimmunicator in her beach bag began to beep the four familiar tunes.

"I'll get it!" Kim insisted, turning on the Kimmunicator.

"What's the sitch, Wade?"

"Kim!" Wade exclaimed, "There was a major kidnapping over at the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology! They need you there ASAP!"

Kim immediately remembered, "My dad's old college!"

"Precisely! The person who was kidnapped was Dr. Lawn Green. I'll tell you more along the way!"

"On my way, Wade!" Kim replied, putting the Kimmunicator back in the beach bag and wrapping up her towel.

She turned to her best fashion friend and replied, "Sorry, Monique. I have to cut the beach trip short! You know...missing scientist in apparently another villainous take-over-the-world type of scheme!"

"Okay, Kim! Just be careful out there!" Monique insisted.

"Don't worry, Monique, I'll be back before you can say..."

"Half-off sale at Club Banana?" Monique interrupted.

"Darn, you got me that time!" Kim giggled at the joke.

"Now...to get Ron!"  
_

* * *

Kim ran up to where Ron was.

"Ron! We have to get back to Middleton! We got a missing scientist from my dad's old college that we gotta rescue and..."

She took one look at Ron and was astounded.

"What...happened to you?!"

Ron, as it turns out, was sunburned in places on his chest, legs, and on his shoulders.

"Um...let's just say that I tried to get some rays and...well...this happened..."

Kim sniffed around and quipped, "Ron, why do you smell like a Thanksgiving Day turkey all of a sudden?"

"It's because of this wonderful smell of this suntan lotion!" Ron grinned, "How do you like that smell?" He took out what appeared to be the lotion with the labels removed.

Kim tool the lotion from Ron's hand and took a single whiff of it.

"Ron, this isn't suntan lotion! It's a suntan lotion pump filled with butter!" she said, unscrewing the top and showing Ron the container of butter inside.

"Oh great! This isn't going to be good..."

And then a pelican flew down on the duo, perching itself on Ron's right shoulder...on his sunburn.

"YEEEEEOOOW!" he screamed, feeling the consequences of not _actually _bringing any suntan lotion.

Rufus, on the other hand, _did _manage to find the correct bottle of suntan lotion, this time clearly labeled.

"We don't have time for this! We got to get to the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology ASAP!"

She took Ron's hand and ran as fast as she could and also grabbed her beach bag with Rufus inside.  
_

* * *

(_25 minutes later)_

Now in their mission uniforms, which they had packed before they left, Kim and Ron were both in a helicopter en route to the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology.

Wade began to explain a little about Dr. Lawn Green's background.

"Dr. Green has been an employee at MIST for about ten years. He was experimenting on two types of grass. One, a type of grass that could be suitable for the perfect suburban law to mow and two, a type of grass that could restore the disappearing Louisiana wetlands..."

"Okay...that doesn't say 'evil plan' to me and...Green..." Kim pondered on the name. "I seem to recognize it from somewhere before..."

"Not only was he kidnapped, Kim..." Wade continued, "...but also his experiments were stolen as well from the labs!"

"But who would want to steal those formulas for all that grass?" Kim wondered.

"Maybe they want to make green pastures and make it the most boring evil plan in the world..." Ron babbled.

"It's clear that someone wants to make serious use out of it!" Kim countered.

"Someone who has a lot of spare time on their hands!" Wade guessed. "President Chancellor will meet you at the commons of MIST."

"We'll be there in five, Wade."  
_

* * *

Five minutes later, the helicopter landed on the commons of the Institute. President Chancellor was about 100 feet from where the helicopter was supposed to land.

Once the helicopter made its landing, Kim and Ron got out and made their acquaintances to the President of the college.

"So glad that you can finally come! The name's Dean Chancellor, president of the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology for the past 25 years!"

Dean Chancellor was a man in his mid-fifties. He was about six inches taller than Kim and weighed around 175. He had thinning graying blonde hair and brown eyes. The president was also wearing a carefully-ironed and wrinkle-free business three-piece suit. Chancellor had bought multiple three-piece suits of different colors, but still had the same fashion sense for the quarter-century of his tenure at MIST.

"Kim Possible, world-famous teen crimefighter!"

The two of them shook hands.

"Possible...hmmm...I remember when your father came through these hallowed gates here at MIST!" Chancellor recalled, knowing he had seen one Possible family member before. "He and his mates had a very good four years here. Although the Pinky Jo Curlytail incident set our friendship back a little..."

"Oh, that little lab rat! Is there anything he can't do..." Ron chuckled.

Chancellor continued "That Lipsky fellow, though, was a pain in the neck for me!"

"Lemme guess, you saw my archnemesis..." Kim hypothesized.

"Oh yeah, he was expelled for mooning a statue of our beloved mascot after getting a nervous breakdown on an 'F' on one test! We had to drag him out in his underwear by campus police!"

"And so starts the string of failures by Drakken..." Kim chortled.

"And don't forget me, Ron Stoppable, the distraction!" Ron exclaimed, pointing to himself.

"Sorry...don't know the name..." Chancellor muttered.

"Oh come on! I just said my name, like, three seconds ago!" Ron bemoaned.

"Anyways, President Chancellor, I do need to know what went on and, more importantly, who kidnapped Dr. Green and his experiments!" Kim said to the president. "So can you point to us where Dr. Green's lab is?"

"Of course, Miss Possible!" Chancellor replied, pointing, "It's on the northwestern section of campus. It's quite some distance from her, so we'll take the presidential cart there!"

He pointed to his personal cart with the MIST insignia on the front of it.

"At least it would be better than walking, right, Ron?" Kim said before looking around, "Ron, where are you?"

And then she heard Ron screaming and hopping on one foot in the grass.

"Kim! There are black ants on my shoe! Get them off! Get them off!"

Apparently, he accidentally stepped in an antpile.

Kim groaned, burying her face in her hands.

* * *

They climbed aboard the presidential cart as he drove to the northwestern corner of MIST, where Dr. Green's offices were located. Chancellor and Kim were in the front seat while Ron was in the back, trying to brush his shoes and socks off of any remaining black ants.

"So what exactly happened to Dr. Green, President Chancellor?" Kim asked, wanting to get ot the specifics on the case.

President Chancellor began, "It all started about two hours ago, Miss Possible. Dr. Green was experimenting on a type of grass that could help the disappearing Louisiana wetlands. A type of grass that could help against strong hurricanes. More than just the levees that..."

"Wait a minute..." Ron blatantly interrupted, "...were you the guy who played that evil dean in _College Crazies?"_

"Um, yes, I did..." Chancellor replied, puzzled at Ron's rude behavior.

"Why?! Why did you close down Delta Zeta Chi?! Oh, why?!" Ron screamed in agony.

Kim glared at him and muttered, "Ron, don't make any more references to obscure college comedies!"

Ron kept his mouth shut for the rest of the ride.

"So, continue, Mr. President!" Kim insisted.

Chancellor continued, starting where he had left off, "The oil and seafood industries, which are big around the southern part of Louisiana, laughed at his research. But once Dr. Green proved his theories out in the field that the wetlands can be restored, they started to invest in it. He made a large profit from this necessary benefit to the wetlands. However, a couple of scientists wanted to take all the credit for his work and, more shockingly, to steal his research. And so, for the past year, Dr. Green took necessary precautions. He beefed up security around his lab, including installing cameras around his lab. I think it may be one of his nemesis scientists, Dr. Beaker, that may be behind this."

"Where is Dr. Beaker located?" Kim questioned.

"His residence is not far from campus, on the southwest corner!" Chancellor said. "If he is behind all this, Beaker will be fired on the spot!"

"Well, we'll see once all the evidence is collected! Remember, a person is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law!" Kim insisted.

* * *

The trio entered into Middleton Hall, the botany wing of MIST, at the northwestern corner of campus. The building itself was Art Stucco and three-stories high. Both the Middleton Police Department and the campus police were present, establishing a security perimeter around the area.

Officer Hobble, whom was the lead investigator, saw Kim and Ron and greeted them as they got off the presidential cart.

"So I guess that Dr. Green's research is that important." Kim said to Chancellor.

"Oh yes! Imagine if it fell into the wrong hands!" Chancellor lamented, "It would be very disastrous and a big punch in the eye for the reputation of this prestigious university!"

"We'll get to the bottom of this!" Kim promised, then turned her attention to Ron, "Come on, Ron, we need to talk with Hobble about helping in collecting evidence."

"Glad to see you again, Kim!" Hobble replied through his thick Brogue, "We've got a big case this time!"

"Missing scientist? No big, Officer Hobble, I've seen it all the time!" Kim smiled.

"This one's quite different..." Hobble replied, "...and I gather that you will be collecting evidence..."

"That's what we're here for!" Kim replied.

"Then I'd recommend that you put gloves on!" Hobble suggested.

"Do you have ones that come in naked mole-rat size?" Ron asked.

Hobble smiled and took out a small box of gloves, which fit Rufus' paws.

Kim and Ron both put on the latex gloves as they and Hobble entered into the building.

* * *

Once they entered Middleton Hall, Hobble guided them across the extremely-long hallway to where Dr. Green's laboratory was...room 198, at the very end.

Kim, Ron, and Hobble all crawled under the crime scene table where five CSIs were in the room, trying to find any speck of evidence of the perpetrators of the kidnapping.

"We'll try and find some connection to the kidnapping of Dr. Green!" Kim said, taking out her handy evidence kit.

"First stop...the fingerprints."

Kim and Ron began to collect prints on the doorknob. A few identifiable marks were present from the brush she dusted on. She collected the prints with the tape off the knob.

"And next...the start of the struggle..."

She and Ron carefully avoided the broken test tubes and beakers on the floor. The two came up to where Dr. Green and his experiments were taken.

Minute by minute, Kim and Ron carefully observed the damage, trying to find an important clue.

Then something caught Kim's eye...a shard of an ID badge on the counter. It had a part of a picture of an employee but was cut off halfway.

"Looks like someone around this institution was trying to interrupt the good doctor during his work." Kim deducted before turning on the Kimmunicator. Wade came online!

"Hey Kim! I guess you found some evidence at Dr. Green's lab!" Wade said with a grin, typing away.

"Sure did!" came the reply from Kim, showing him the broken ID card, "Wade, I need you to run a scan on this! Comb through the MIST faculty database for anyone who has this card!"

Wade typed on the computer as the Kimmunicator activated one of its features, a red radar scanner. It scanned the partially cut ID card, which had its barcode intact. This made it easy for the tech genius to find the owner of the card.

"And there we go!"

"You found a positive match already, Wade?" Kim smirked.

"Took me only 45 seconds, a personal best!" Wade chortled. He turned his computer screen around and revealed whose ID card it was.

"Dr. Dewar Beaker. Assistant Professor of Organic Chemistry for the past 10 years and rival to Dr. Green!"

Hobble looked over Kim's shoulder and saw Dr. Beaker's picture. "Aye...I saw him!"

"You did, Hobble?" Kim asked in amazement.

"Of course, Kim! He was the one whom Green issued a restraining order because he was stalking him!" Hobble explained the tumultuous relationship between the two scientists.

"How did you know?" Kim questioned.

"I was the baliff at Beaker's court hearing!" Hobble said, adjusting his belt.

"Well, that explains a lot!" Wade said. "I'm tracking down his coordinates right now!"

"Do so, Wade! We might have our first suspect in this case!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

(_25 minutes later)_

On the southwestern corner of the university, Dr. Dewar Beaker was stuck in his two-room apartment. He was a man in his mid-40s and was eight months behind on his rent. Beaker was clad only in his wifebeater shirt with boxer shorts, sitting on his torn and tattered sofa. He had thrown away half his entire month's salary in stocks that went belly-up. To add to his misery, he had $10,000 in unpaid student loans.

The sink was filled with dirty dishes that not only have they not been washed in a month, but it also stank up the entire kitchen. Beaker's clothes haven't been clean for the past three weeks. And the only other occupants within that apartment were eight cats that he fed to his cats, which comprised the other half of his salary. The only valuable worth anything in his apartment was his 1973 "Hang In There Cat" poster that he got for $40.

"Finally…I have my money, enough to get out of this damn dump!" Beaker sneered. He was holding a briefcase filled with $50,000 in cold hard cash. Not only that, he was also holding a single vial of Dr. Green's grass formula. He preceded to place them both on the coffee table.

"And finally, I am going to prove to the science board of this college, once and for all, that I, Dr. Dewar Beaker, will gain credit for the formula!"

Five extremely loud knocks were then heard from his door.

"Ugh…finally! My Chinese takeout is here!" Beaker stood up from his sofa with eviction notices scattered around the floor. "Stupid little…." He babbled to himself.

What he didn't expect was the Middleton PD using a handheld battering ram to break down his door.

"What the hell?!"

Officers swarmed the area, guns drawn.

"FREEZE! FREEZE!"

Beaker dropped down on his knees, hands behind his head.

"I demand to know what the hell is going on!"

Through the loud voices of the officers, he heard a different sound.

"You know what's going on, Dr. Beaker! It's going to be so the drama for you!"

Kim appeared through the broken door with Ron, Officer Hobble, and a fuming President Chancellor right behind her.

"You…! Dr. Possible's little girl!" Beaker seethed with rage.

"Wait…he knows your dad?" Ron asked.

"Me and James used to be lab partners back in the day, but only for that one time! Rocket Science was never my cup of tea!" Beaker explained with a snarl on his face.

"So you had to switch to Botanical Science." Kim said.

"Of course, it's been in my family for years! I graduated from here and got myself an assistant professor position!" Beaker continued, "But for the past fourteen years, I never even got a raise!"

Chancellor grabbed Beaker by his shirt and shouted in his ear.

"That's because you have been a disgrace to MIST! You have stolen university property, harassed and stalked fellow scientists, and, most damning of all, you rigged the vending machines in the break room! And now, you have stolen THE most important property on our campus and kidnapped one of our professors? You're fired, Beaker! And you won't even get a severance package!"

"What do I get instead?" Beaker taunted.

"This…." Chancellor replied, spitting Beaker in the forehead and slapping him in the face. Beaker never moved from his "Freeze" position, taking in the punishment. "Perhaps a few years of you behind bars will straighten you out!"

"And where have you put Professor Green?" Chancellor demanded, his throat getting sore from all that screaming.

"You'll never find him here!" Beaker chuckled evily.

"You're lying!" Chancellor growled, "We'll find Green here in this dump of yours!"

True to Beaker's word, though, one of the officers shouted, "He's not here!"

"Then maybe you've tied him up and locked him up at one of those storage places!" Chancellor barked, moving to another guess.

"I'm not going to tell you anything!" Beaker smirked. "You can do your worst on me, but you can never get anything out of me!"

Little did Beaker realize that he failed to pay attention to the $50,000 in the briefcase, filled with Franklins and the vial of Dr. Green's grass formula. His eyes was so fixated on the president and Team Possible that he completely ignored the evidence that was sitting right there on his coffee table.

Chancellor, seeing this, had a plan for taking advantage of Beaker's stupidity. He whispered into Kim's ear, so that Beaker wouldn't hear his strategy.

"What is it, President….Oh?...Oh! Gotcha!"

Beaker, meanwhile, shifted his eyes at the two, unprepared for what they had planned for him.

"I think Miss Possible may ask you a few questions or two!" Chancellor said, glaring at Beaker.

"If she asks anything, she'll have to answer to my lawyer!" Beaker shouted, but couldn't do anything because of the police surrounding the entire apartment, leaving no chance of escape.

"I don't think a lawyer would be needed!" Kim smirked, "I believe that you've already incriminated yourself in your own sitch on your own coffee table!" She pointed to the briefcase filled with money and the vial containing Dr. Green's formula. "Plus, we found a part of your ID card in Dr. Green's lab, which means that you had a recent struggle over there!"

Beaker turned his head, for the first time since the police barged through his door, to the coffee table. His hands were still behind his head. His mouth was wide open, gasping that he forgot to hide the evidence away from the eyes of the Middleton PD and Team Possible.

It was then that he knew that he was screwed.

"Fine…you caught me red-handed, cheerleader!" Beaker admitted, but in an aggressive tone, "But I'll never tell you where the money came from or how I got the formula!"

But Kim was not fazed, "Oh, I do have my ways, Beaker!"

"Oh yeah!" Ron grinned, "You REALLY don't wanna mess with Kim!"

"And who are you even supposed to be, blondie? The distraction?" Beaker taunted.

"Um, duh, yeah! That's my role!" Ron replied, glared at him.

Beaker turned back to Kim and sneered, "So what are you going to do to me, cheerleader? Wave your pom-poms in my face?"

Kim said nothing but gave a smirk and walked on over to where his "Hang In There" cat poster was. She put her hands on the top of the poster and began to rip it.

Upon seeing his poster being damaged, he began to shriek.

"NO! NO! PLEASE DON'T TEAR MY POSTER! I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING! JUST PLEASE DON'T DAMAGE ANYMORE OF MY POSTER! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!"

Kim stopped the tearing of his poster.

"Well, that was the easiest villainous breakdown ever over some poster!" she chuckled a little.

"Then again," Ron quipped. "Drakken did have his moments of crying over a little paper cut."

Kim giggled a little before turning a serious look to Beaker.

"Now…will you tell us where you got the money and that vial of Dr. Green's formula?" Kim insisted.

"Fine!" Beaker replied, reluctantly giving in to Kim's question, "I'll tell you everything! Just…don't destroy my poster any further!"

"Okay…first of all…the money?" Kim asked, pointing again to the briefcase.

Beaker thought for a moment and began. "Okay, cheerleader. It all began in the wee hours of the morning….

* * *

_(1am. Beaker was creeping around the residence halls in the alleyways.)_

_B: I was docked 600 bucks from my last paycheck, and on top of that, I was $10 grand in the hole. And as a final insult, the eviction notices were piling up at my apartment and the creditors were harassing me like hell! So I needed something, anything to close that gap and to get out of this God-forsaken hellhole! Finally I received a call around 11pm last night, it was some person saying that he can give me $50,000 as long as I did a favor for him. _

_K: So two questions. One, what was that favor and two, why did you go in the dead of night?_

_(Beaker continued roaming through the alleyways)_

_B: He told me to meet him at the alleyway in-between the residence halls at 1:30 sharp because it would provide the perfect hiding place. He also said for me to spot a black limousine in the alley, for that's where we planned our arrangements._

_(Beaker saw the said black limousine in the middle of the alley in between two men's residence halls.)_

_K: Did you even get a good look at him?_

_B: Sorry, since the area was pitch-black, and that the limousine had tinted windows, I couldn't see the figure. The only body part that he was even showing was his hand._

_(The rear passenger window was slightly rolled down, only showing the figure's hand.)_

_He said that he can give me $50,000 and full credit for Professor Green's formula, plus 15 percent of the stuff itself, if I helped him in kidnapping the scientist, his notes and the remainder of the formula for his 'evil plan'. He also gave me his number as well, but no name. Finally, he said to meet me at the rear of Middleton Hall once I kidnapped him and reported it to him._

_(The figure also gave him a slip of paper with his phone no. on it but without a name.)_

_K: And let me guess…you bought into it?_

_B: Of course! I immediately accepted it! What other choice did I have? It was my chance, once and for all, that the grass formula should be given credit to me and to prevent shame from infecting my family. It shouldn't have belonged to that two-time hack, Dr. Lawn Green!_

* * *

Chancellor interrupted the interrogation and asked, "Wait a minute, Dr. Beaker! How can you, a 150-pound stick of twigs can take on Dr. Green, who has 35 pounds on you and has been working out in the gym while your membership expired seven months ago?"

"I was about to get to that, Mr. Interrupt My Story!" Beaker snapped before continuing.

_B: So there I was at John Middleton Hall, planning the next move!_

_(Beaker creeped up the mostly-empty Middleton Hall right up to Dr. Green's lab.)_

_I slowly turned opened the door knob to that SOB's office and…_

_(Dr. Green: Huh….who's there?)_

_I rolled a little golf ball through the small opening towards his direction! The ball emitted a green smoke in the air and it knocked that asshole out like it was nothing._

_(Dr. Green coughs and breathes into the knockout gas, falling to the floor)_

_With that phase out of the way, I called the number in and told him the news. He told me that two caddies were going to carry him to the limo. So, I took a nearby gas mask, so as not to breathe in that shit, I took the fool's notes and formula in a bag and headed back to the limo. _

_And so, I was about to celebrate my victory with a bit of Chinese takeout before you idiots showed up!_

* * *

"Wait…did you say….golf ball?" Kim paused before asking.

"Uh, yeah I did!" Beaker sneered before he heard handcuffs clicking behind his back by one of the officers.

Kim was mentally putting the pieces of the puzzle together when the Kimmunicator began to beep.

She took it out and exclaimed, "Go, Wade!"

"There's been a robbery at Little Duffers in Danville, Kim! And also, a plaid zeppelin was sighted in the area by witnesses!"

"It's all starting to make sense now!" Kim exclaimed.

"You mean the robbery or the kidnapping?" Ron wondered, scratching his head.

"Both, Ron!" Kim deducted, "It has to be the work of the 'World's Deadliest Golfer'!"

"DUFF KILLIGAN!" as they said at the same time._  
_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_(1:30 pm, underneath the Mississippi River)_

Doofenshmirtz was continuing to drive his submarine underneath the Mississippi to within range of the Memphis conference center.

"And so, Perry the Platypus! In about ten minutes, my Elvis-Impersonator-begone-inator will fire at the convention, making one of the most annoying group of people in my horrible life disappear right before your very eyes! And there's nothing you can do about it!"

While Doofenshmirtz surfaced right exactly on the Mississippi-Tennessee state line, his Elvis-Impersonator-begone-inator almost ready to fire, Agent P ducked his head in the rhinestone jumpsuit trap and found a weakness in the trap, a small tear in the crotch area. Heinz had his back turned the entire time.

The clamps restrained the jumpsuit, but not his hands, feet or tail. He used the spur on his hind limbs to make the small tear bigger.

A loud rip was heard and Agent P landed on the floor feet-first in a fighting pose.

"Perry the Platypus! Did I just hear a loud 'RIIIIIIP' from you?" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, turning his head around.

He gasped in fright! Agent P had escaped!

"What the heck?! Perry the Platypus! How did you manage to get out my jumpsuit trap?!"

Then Doofenshmirtz looked at the large tear in the crotch area of the jumpsuit.

"Ugh...they shouldn't have made a cheap fabric out of it! Stupid internet!"

And then Agent P jumped at him and whacked Doofenshmirtz's face with his tail.

* * *

Not far from them, the steamboat race was still going on. Both steamshipswere running neck and neck. The finish line was only a mile away.

"Come on, guys! Full speed ahead!" Phineas insisted as the _Perry _sped ahead of the _Biff _. Buford tried to keep up but the _Perry _crossed the finish line two boatlengths ahead of the _Biff._

"And the winner is…the _Perry_!" Baljeet proclaimed.

Isabella hugged Phineas and said, "Oh Phineas, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks, Isabella!" Phineas said with a grin. "Now time to congratulate Buford."

Buford, climbing off the defeated _Biff, _shook hands with Phineas. "That was an exciting steamboat race, Dinner Bell. But what are we going to do with these steamboats since we finished with them?"

"We'll just give them to the judges, Buford! They'll put these boats to good use." Phineas said. "Anyways, we got a Tom Sawyer re-enactment to do!"

Candace jumped off the ship, with the giant lollipop still stuck in her hair. "Not so fast, you twerps! Not until Mom sees these steamboats that you did! She's going to have a field day when she sees them!"

Then she looked around, "Um…where is Mom by the way?"

"Didn't she tell you, Candace?" Stacy replied, "She's at the quilting class in the convention center!"

"Oh, right. I almost forgot about that! Thanks, Stace!" Candace quickly said.

All Stacy can do was look down at the mud at the banks of the river.

Candace then ran from the group, screaming "Mom! Mom! Mom!" all the way to the center. Phineas and the group, meanwhile, walked away towards where Linda arranged for them to meet up for the Tom Sawyer reenactment.

* * *

The two judges looked curiously at the boats.

"So, do you know how to operate it?" the first judge asked.

"Don't look at me!" the second judge snarked. "I only know how to operate steamboats from the nineteenth century, not the twenty-first!"

"Look, I've been judging boats for the past thirty years! I've never seen one like this one, and probably there won't be boats like this ever again!" the first judge countered.

The second judge looked around and saw a yellow button labeled "RAFT DEPLOYMENT". He curiously pushed the button as the steamboats roared to life. A wooden raft began to emerge at the back of the boat. Both judges got on the raft as both the _Perry _and the _Biff _zoomed away from them.

"Well…so much for advancin' racing steamboats." the first judge said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Wanna start whittlin'?" the second judge asked.

"Don't mind if I do!" the first judge grinned.

Both of them got of the raft and walked away.

* * *

Back on the river, a few miles upstream, Agent P punched Doofenshmirtz in the stomach. This forced him back to the control panel.

"Urgh….you really forced my hand, Perry the Platypus! Time for me to fire the Elvis-impersonator-begone-inator!"

He pressed a button…and it activated the windshield wipers for his windows.

"What…?"

Doofenshmirtz looked down and realized…to his horror…that he forgot to label the buttons.

"Oh great! I should've labeled them before I took off this morning!"

Suddenly, he heard glass shattering from above the hull.

"Now what is going on…?"

Syrup then began to pour all over Doofenshmirtz.

"Oh no! I'm covered in Canadian syrup! Let me check on the status of my –inator!"

He climbed up the ladder and gasped. The tank containing the syrup was shattered by a metal pipe. Since it relied on syrup to operate, the Elvis-impersonator-begone-inator was rendered useless.

"No….No…No….NOOOOOO!"

Agent P, meanwhile, took off on his jet pack.

"Looks like Perry the Platypus has left the building!"

Doofenshmirtz began to slip and fall from the ladder, screaming and landing on his behind.

"This just keeps going from bad to worse…."

He tried to stand up and his pants were ripped from his behind, covered by the syrup.

"Alright….that's it! Time to turn this baby around! I will get you yet, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz proudly proclaimed before pressing a button, assuming that it would turn the submarine around.

It was actually the self-destruct button.

"SELF-DESTRUCT sequence in 30 seconds!"

Doofenshmirtz sighed, "Why do I get myself involved in these things…."

* * *

Candace, meanwhile, ran through a part of the Tom Sawyer re-enactment scene as her right foot landed in a can of whitewash pant.

"Gotta get Mom! Gotta get Mom! Gotta get Mom!" she continued to chant, the crazed look in her eyes.

At the quilting class, Linda was carefully listening to the instructions of the teacher.

"And sew with your thimble….great concentration and quietness is needed! It's just you, the fabric, the thimble and the needle!"

Linda was sewing away. She was about 95 percent done with her sample quilt. Those skills were going to come in handy for Betty Jo's birthday.

What the teacher and Linda didn't account for was an almost 16-year old teenage girl in a sailor suit, lollipop in her hair, and a can of whitewash paint stuck in her right foot flinging the doors open violently.

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Candace shouted for all of the class to hear, "Phineas and Ferb made giant steamboats on the Mississippi River and raced them at over 100 miles an hour!"

"Candace! How many times do I have to say this is to never interrupt me during my classes?!" Linda chided her daughter. "Especially when your Betty Jo's birthday is coming up!"

She then observed her daughter's hair "And why do you even have a lollipop in your hair?"

"Mom! No time for that explanation! Go look at the river!" Candace insisted.

Linda took a deep sigh and said, "Okay… I'll look!"

Candace wringed her hands with maddening glee.

"He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he!"

* * *

**Self destruct sequence in 10….9…..8….7….**

"My plans have been foiled once more and….." Doofenshmirtz lamented before observing two steamboats at him, at full speed. He tapped on the screen twice and, to his horror, discovered that no was at the helm. Upon further discovery, the schematics read that no one was aboard the two ships.

"Hmm…two steamboats controlled by robots are going to collide my sub at the same time…..I guess that fortune teller was correct about my future!"

Then the steamboats collided with the submarine at the very same time the self-destruct feature went to zero. A large explosion ripped through the river, destroying the Elvis-impersonator-begone-inator before it even had a chance to fire.

Doofenshmirtz catapulted in the air, screaming madly before landing in a national forest of the Delta. He landed, face-first into some vines, completely covered in syrup.

He yelled out at the top of his lungs.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus….and my inability to label buttons!"

Doofenshmirtz sighed, another chance of his evil plans to succeed ruined by unfortunate luck. Then he began to scratch his clothes.

"Oh, why do I itch all of a sudden?"

A sign next to the vines read, in bold letters "POISON IVY, DO NOT TOUCH!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

(_10 minutes later)_

"You gotta come see what the boys did this time!" Candace insisted, holding her mom's hand tightly as they went to the banks of the river. Curiously, Phineas and the group followed them behind.

Candace, closing her eyes, proclaimed, "Tell me that you see two steamboats on the river!"

"Aww…that's so cute!" came Linda's reaction.

"Wait..what?!" Candace exclaimed. She turned around and the thing that Linda saw was….a single wooden raft on the river.

"NOOO! This is not possible! There were two steamboats powered by race-car engines! And we were going fast and…and…" Candace babbled and ranted before succumbing to frustration "Ugh! I give UP!"

"A wooden raft that Mark Twain would be proud of!" Linda announced to the group, not knowing of the origins of the raft, "That earns you some huckleberry pie after the Tom Sawyer play!"

Phineas and the group cheered. Candace, meanwhile, put her hand on her face.

"Great…another chance backfired!" she muttered.

Ferb went up to Candace and said, "You know, rafts were meant to symbolize freedom from the world's pain and sorrows, like it did in _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_."

"But not MY pain and sorrows!" Candace bitterly complained

Linda gave an exacerbating sigh, "Sometimes, Candace, I just don't know what to do with you…" Then she brought up something that Candace forgot. "Or, as Southerners say, y'all!"

Candace gasped with fright, remembering why she went in the first place! "Oh no! My Southern Accent Class! Where's Stacy?!"

"She went inside the convention center." Linda said, "It's in room 109!"

Candace ran as fast as her legs could carry, finally letting go of the can of whitewash paint.

_I hope Stacy saved a seat for me!_

* * *

Kim and Ron got out of Hobble's patrol car when they finally reached Little Duffers, the sole miniature golf-course in the town. Around three other Danville PD patrol cars were present.

"Thanks, Officer Hobble!" Kim said with a smile, shaking the officer's hand.

"No problem, Kim!" Hobble replied, "I'm heading back to the office!"

"Okay, see you next time!" Kim grinned, closing the door and waving to Hobble before he drove off.

"Wow! That's one of the best-looking golf courses I've seen in a long while!" Ron said with amazement, "It's giving Middleton Mini Golf a run for its money!"

"Wonder how it got there…?" Kim asked curiously, unaware that it was totally built by Phineas and Ferb as one of their big ideas.

"I bet you $15 that I can smoke you on that course, KP!" Ron smirked, trying to wage a little wager with his best friend.

"Priorities, Ron!" Kim interrupted, refusing the bet. She had to investigate the crime, first and foremost.

"We need to talk with the owner of Little Duffers to see what went down!"

"Okay…" Ron understood, "But once we catch Killigan, I'll challenge you on that course!"

"I'll think about it!" came the reply from Kim.

The owner of Little Duffers, a short man of Irish-Scottish descent, was sitting on his desk, a bit frustrated that his business got robbed. His normal door entrance was replaced by a gaping hole.

Kim and Ron walked through the hole.

"Something tells me that the robber didn't want to use the doorway…" she said, thinking of what could damage the hole. But she knew what Killigan was capable of.

"So impolite…" Ron added.

Upon seeing the duo, the owner jumped off his desk and greeted them.

"Angus MacBeth, owner of Little Duffers!" he said in his native Scottish, introducing himself.

"Kim Possible, world-famous teen hero! So it looks like a robbery went down here!"

"Aye!" Angus replied, "It happened no more than thirty minutes ago!"

"Could you give me a description of the thief or thieves who robbed you?"

"Sure thing, lassie! The main one kind of looked like me but he had a full beard, purple shirt to me yellow, and had a really nasty streak to him!" Angus said, giving the full description. "He also had henchmen, I do believe…"

"Henchmen, huh?" Kim asked with interest.

"Aye, he call them 'Caddies'!" Angus replied. "He dinna even use the door!" He pointed to the large explosion at the entrance.

"Looks like we'll investigate that part…" Kim said.

"Now why would Killigan want to rob a miniature golf course?" Ron asked to Kim. "Isn't that kinda…a little low for his standards?"

"That's what we're about to find out, Ron." Kim replied.

As she and Ron walked over to the door, Kim took a single look at the register behind the counter. It was open but not emptied.

"Strange…" Kim said with perplexion, "…Killigan didn't empty the registers at all…"

The duo then began studying the entrance.

"I am going to bet that he used his exploding golf balls to make his grand entrance." Ron guessed, as he knew Killigan's schemes from past experiences.

"Obviously… that's why no one allows him on golf courses anymore." Kim took out her custom-designed eyelash brush. It was designed to study explosion residue of any type.

After only a few seconds, it beeped.

Kim exclaimed, "Yep, called it! Golf ball explosion residue!"

"The Ronster's on target!" Ron boasted.

"Now all we need is what Killigan stole, and what type of vehicle he used to get into Little Duffers."

Kim went to Angus and asked. "We still need two things to piece this crime together. One, what exactly did Killigan steal from you and two, what vehicle did he use to get in and out?"

"Glad ye asked! Fer ye first question, Miss Possible, he took one set of 100 empty golf shells from me inventory in the back! And for the other question, he and his Caddies rode on a blimp….plaid-covered, if me memory is right…" Angus replied, giving helpful information to Team Possible on the whereabouts of Killigan.

"Which direction did the blimp go after the robbery?" Kim questioned.

Angus pointed his finger in the direction he last saw them in. "It was…southwest! Aye, the blimp was headin' southwest!"

"Thanks for your help, Angus!" Kim complimented.

"Me pleasure, lassie!" Angus replied, tipping his beret as a gesture of hospitality.

Kim and Ron went outside the front office, now that they had collected what evidence they have and all the information necessary.

But there was one persistent problem…

"Wade!" Kim exclaimed, whipping out her Kimmunicator in a flash. Wade came on, already had eaten lunch.

"Hey, Kim! Man that lunch filled me up! What can I help you with?"

"I need you to find a giant zeppelin with plaid all over it." Kim insisted,  
"Last direction it headed was southwest."

"Spotting a giant zeppelin shouldn't be too difficult!" Wade smirked, typing as fast as he can on the computer.

"And…bingo! I've traced the signals bouncing off the zeppelin."

"Where is it at right now?"

"It's located in south Louisiana, in the bayous." Wade replied, relaying the info. "There's also an abandoned steamboat that the zeppelin is docked at."

"Then that's where we'll find Killigan!" Kim exclaimed. "Arrange us the transportation!"

"So why would Killigan be in the middle of the bayous of Louisiana instead of Scotland?" Ron asked, confused of why the mad golfer would be away from his home lair.

"We're about to find out, Ron."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

As Linda, Phineas and the rest were walking, Perry came crawling to the group, in the frog costume, chattering.

"Oh, there you are, Reb…I mean Perry!" Phineas said, confused at first with Tom Sawyer's pet.

"So where's the _Tom Sawyer _stage, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher?" Isabella asked.

"It's right in the parking lot." replied Linda. "I'll go and get the video camera!"

* * *

"Hope if I'm not too late!" Candace exclaimed, running through the halls. "Stacy….should…save…a…seat…for…me!"

Out of breath, she finally came to room 109, where the Southern Accent class for Girls was at.

"Well…this…is…it…" she panted, propping open the door.

She made it to the class with 45 seconds to spare.

Candace observed the entire room. There were around sixty girls, around the ages of 15 to 22, in the room. In addition, they were wearing sundresses, nice high-quality jewelry and very strong perfume.

She felt out of place with the sailor suit and lollipop still clinging onto her hair. A few of those girls even snickered at poor Candace, not aware of what she went through.

Stacy turned her head to the back of the room and saw her best friend.

"Candace, over here!"

Making it through the chuckling spectators, Candace finally sat on her empty seat next to Stacy.

"Oh, man! I feel completely out of place, Stacy!" she sighed, looking down on her sailor suit, "Those girls with their fancy clothes and bracelets…"

"Shhh…" Stacy said quietly, holding the index finger to her mouth, "…the seminar's about to start!"

Chloe Stonehearter came to the auditorium as she yelled backstage to her rival, Annabelle Pomlilly.

"No, Annabelle! I don't wanna wear them black boots for summer! I wear brown boots, ya hears me! Brown!"

Candace was amused a little by the spectacle of two cheerleaders yelling at each other, and so was the rest of the audience.

"Huh…?"

Chloe then looked out at the crowd and blushed with embarrassment. She composed herself and announced through the microphone.

"Oh…um….hi y'all! Welcome to th' 15th Annual Summer Southern Accent Seminar for Young Girls or SSASYG for short! For th' next hour, we'll be teaching you all th' ins an' outs of our genuine accent. Soon enough, you'll be able to charm th' man o' your dreams!"

At that moment, Candace was dreaming of Jeremy again, this time saying their vows over at Oak Alley Plantation in Louisiana underneath the splendor of the 350-year old oak trees.

"Oh…my wedding will be so romantic…"

Chloe interrupted Candace's daydreaming "Is there somethin' you would like to share with th' other girls?"

"Oh…um…sorry…" Candace giggled nervously. But then she added, "Aren't you a little young to be hosting a Southern Accent seminar?"

"No, no I'm not!" Chloe countered "Mah daddy helped paid for all this, just to let y'all know!"

"Anyways, onto th' seminar!" Chloe continued, getting the class back on track. "When y'all are achievin' a Southern Accent, you need to be one with your surroundings! Now, let's starts with th' basics, shall we?"

* * *

The SUV rumbled down the sole road leading into Lucifer's Cove as a summer thunderstorm was rolling into the area.

"Okay, this is where Wade pointed the whereabouts of Killigan. From what he told me, he was in an abandoned steamboat!"

She asked her driver, "How long has the steamboat been there?"

"Oh, it's been there for around a hundred years!" the driver replied. "Got lost in the narrow bayous! Been stuck there ever since!"

"But Kim, aren't steamboats meant for river transportation?" Ron asked.

"More than likely, it got lost…"

Kim saw the sign that said "LUCIFER'S COVE-3 miles" with the direction arrow point to the right. A dark, spooky dirt pathway covered with trees draping Spanish moss all over added to the creepiness, and it was obviously too small for a car .

"Here ya go!" the driver replied, pulling the SUV over to let them out. "So see you in a couple hours, Kim?"

"Please do!" Kim smiled, waving to the driver as he drove off from the main road.

"So what's your master plan, Kim?"

"We sneak into the steamboat, without detection, and then free Dr. Green. Once we do that, we'll grab his research and the rest of the grass formula and Killigan would be arrested!" Kim explained the expertise of her plan.

"Kim…." Ron shivered, "….this place is giving me the total creeps!"

"Um, why?"

"Dark and scary-looking trees, Kim! Approaching thunderstorm! Reminds me of…." Ron said with fear in his eyes, gulping hard, "…Wannaweep!"

Rufus shivered as well, hearing that name.

He was attempting to flashback to a previous time of his life at that dreaded camp when Kim interrupted this process by waving her hand in front of his face.

"Ron, now is not a good time to be flashing back to that camp! We need to get aboard that steamboat and prevent Killigan from using Dr. Green's formula! Now follow my lead!"

Kim went into the dark foreboding pathway, with Ron following behind her, still whimpering a little.

* * *

Inside the steamboat, Killigan was playing on his bagpipes off-key on the restrained Dr. Green as a method of torture.

"I'll never tell you of how you can make a golf course out of my formula!" Green screamed.

"If ye don't, then I continue playing until ye tell me!" Killigan warned, putting away the bagpipes for a moment.

"But how did you come across my research?" Green asked.

"Simple, Doctor! I saw ye research on the Internet, plus ye are related to Dr. Sylvan Green, me very first scheme!" Killigan explained.

"What does that have to do with my formula?" Green questioned.

"From what I've read on ye notes, Dr. Green…" Killigan replied with a grin on his face. "…ye wrote the information on how to make a golf course…on water! But there was one wee minor problem…"

"And that would be…?"

"The page containing the recipe for the golf course is missing!" Killigan growled. "I looked all over the net for that page….and nothing!"

"Did you even try my notebook, which that stupid Beaker helped you to steal?" He muttered to himself "Two-timing, good-for-nothing, snake in the grass…"

"Aye, that too!" Killigan sneered, grabbing Green's notebook for the formula from a nearby table.

"Now lookey here, Dr. Green." he said, flipping the pages of the book. "….eighty-three….eighty-four…" Killigan pointed to the bottom of the page that had the title "HOW TO MAKE A GOLF COURSE ON WATER" on it and then yelled the next page "….eighty-SIX!"

"Where is page eighty-five?!" Killigan growled.

"I'm not telling you anything!" Green countered.

Killigan studied his face and saw the fear in his eyes. All he could do was grin.

"Maybe I'll play the highest note on me bagpipes! I have a lot of breath control you know!"

Green relented, not wanting anymore of Killigan's bagpipe playing and to keep his hearing intact. "Fine…it's in my labcoat!"

Killigan smiled, going into Green's labcoat "See? Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Then why didn't you look there the first time?" Green taunted.

"I didn't even look there at first…" Killigan explained, sitting down on a chair at a nearby desk, studying one of his clubs.

Green scoffed, "Some villain you are…"

"They dinna call me the 'World's Deadliest Golfer' for nothing!" Killigan clucked before hearing the door knock.

"Come in!" Killigan insisted.

It was one his henchmen, a Caddy.

"Sir…" the Caddy replied, "…you have to come down to the security room! Looks like some unwanted visitors!"

Killigan stood up from the chair.

"I'll be right back, Dr. Green!" he instructed, going with his Caddy, "And no funny business!"

He slammed the door shut.

In the security room, the Caddy pointed out on one of the TV monitors.

"I shoulda known! Team Possible!" Killigan sneered at the screen as Kim and Ron were walking along the pathway leading to his hideout.

"Should we roll out the welcoming mat, sir?" a second Caddy asked.

"Please do! And once they get to the boat, I'll have a few surprises for them as well!" Killigan chuckled, looking at his golf club.

Kim and Ron were traversing along the path until they finally arrived at Lucifer's Cove, not more than 2000 feet from the steamboat.

"There it is, Ron! Killigan's hideout!" she said, pointing to the boat.

"How can you be sure it's his place?" Ron asked.

Kim then turned her finger towards a whole series "KEEP OOT" signs plastered on all the nearby trees along the path.

"I think the 'oot' should give you a good clue!"

Ron then understood, "Oh yeah…only Killigan would say 'oot' instead of 'out'! Though it should be the same word..."

"Come on, Ron, let's pick up the pace!"

The two teens and the mole rat continued, but now they were moving with extreme caution.

"Ron, watch your step carefully and keep your eyes peeled!" she warned, "We have to be cautious if we want to avoid any…"

Then Ron accidentally pressed his foot on a blue button. It released a rope net from underneath them, trapping them all.

"…booby traps!"

"Hey!" Rufus squeaked angrily.

Then an evil Scottish laugh sounded from the top of the steamboat.

"Duff Killigan!" Kim growled.

"Aye! Well…if it isn't Kim Possible!" Killigan smirked. "I knew ye would try to foil me plans! So I had the entire place booby-trapped just fer ye!"

"Is that how you usually greet visitors, Killigan?" Kim snarked.

"Bah! No time fer small talk!" Killigan replied, putting on one of his infamous golf balls on a tee on the steamboat's wooden deck. He also took out one his trusty golf clubs.

"FORE!"

Killigan whacked the ball as hard as he could with his club into the direction of Team Possible.

Ron gasped and screamed, "Oh no! It's one of his exploding golf balls!"

"Nay, young lad! It's not an explodin' golf ball…it's me knockout ball!"

"Knockout ball?"

The golf ball released a knockout gas through the area, including the net.

"Oh…" Kim yawned "…now I see…..the…..knockout ball…."

Team Possible fell asleep in the net.

* * *

(_25 minutes later)_

The thunder rumbled through the grey skies over Lucifer's Cove as Killigan and his Caddies had cuffed both Kim and Ron behind their backs with heavy chains attached to ropes. To add to their misery, Killigan ordered the Caddies to hoist the ropes restraining Team Possible up high. One of the Caddies tied the rope to one of the parapets to the smokestacks.

"Killigan! You won't get away with this!" Kim yelled, struggling to break free.

"Aye, but I already have, young lassie!" Killigan snickered from below. Two of his Caddies was carrying Dr. Green to his nearby zeppelin, ready to take off.

"Can you at least allow me to explain about the formula!" Green pleaded.

"Oh, do shut up!" Killigan demanded, "Ye will speak when I allow you to! Throw him in the brig!"

The Caddies nodded their heads and placed Green into the zeppelin's brig.

"Can you at least tell me what you're up to this time?" Kim demanded.

"Nay a problem, wee lass!" Killigan chuckled. "Ye remember the last time we met at me hideout?"

"You mean at Scotland?"

"Aye!" Killigan replied angrily, "Ye took that rare Star of Paris diamond away from me!"

"That's because you stole it in the first place, Killigan! The Museum of Paris…."

"Enough!" Killigan shouted, trying to get to his point, "The main thing was that yer blond lad caused so much destruction to me lair! So that's why I've relocated here temporarily! It's so quiet and far away from anyone who tries to catch me, Duff Killigan!" A loud boom of thunder rolled when he mentioned his name.

"Until now!" Kim countered. "So why did you take Dr. Green?" she question, feeling the weightlessness of her shoes of not touching solid ground.

"I was about to get to that!" Killigan muttered, "What I needed was a plan of developin' me own golf course!"

"I thought you tried that before…and failed!" Kim snapped.

"Aye, but that was on land!" Killigan chuckled, "The official ban on me doesn't exactly cover golf courses surrounded by water! So I've done me research on the man, and found his rival, Dr. Dewar Beaker! He was the perfect fall man to help me capture that scientist!"

Kim gasped, "So that's why you stole Dr. Green's research and formula!" A bolt of lightning streaked across the sky followed by a loud crack of thunder.

"Precisely! I've always dreamed of havin' me own floatin' golf course island surrounded by water! And now, with this formula, I will test it out on a 100-square mile area of the Gulf of Mexico!"

"Are you mad?!" Kim shouted, "Do you really want to wipe out all those poor defenseless marine animals in the gulf, just for your stupid gold course?!"

"And the dolphins?!" Ron cried, "Those poor dolphins! Why? Oh why?!"

"Aye, but it'll be a small price to pay compared to the fees that I will charge on the course! I'll make millions!"

Killigan let out a maddening laugh as lightning flashed once more across the sky.

"But now that I've got the plan out of the way, let me then explain yer trap!"

"Oh please!" Kim taunted, "Do elaborate!"

Killigan began explaining his trap to the teens. "As ye can see, you and….and…"

"Oh man, do we have to go through this again?!" Ron complained.

"…yes, the buffoon! Ye both are chained to the ropes that is attached to the top of that parapet!" He pointed to the top of the smokestack.

"Not only that…." Killigan continued on, putting on latex gloves "….but also I've put a little golf ball attached to the rope. It generates its own heat, burning through the rope. And once the rope is fully burned though, ye two will fall into the waiting jaws of all the crocodiles in Lucifer's Cove!"

Killigan dug through a cooler filled with beef hearts that were rare. He took four of them.

Kim looked on in disgust.

"Ugh…I'm going to have to go vegan!"

Killigan dumped all four of the beef hearts into the bayou waters below. Around fifteen crocodiles swarmed the area, chomping away at the beef hearts with those snapping jaws.

Kim and Ron dropped their jaws in fear.

"Well…it's time fer me to leave….oh, and there's one other thing that I forgot to mention!"

"And that is….?" Kim asked, not wanting any more surprises from Killigan.

"I've laced the boiler room with dynamite!" Killigan smiled, "And in 30 minutes, this steamboat will go up in flames and that will be the end of Team Possible!"

(_The scene shows a detonator counting down from 30:00 in the boiler room.)_

"Now if ye don't mind…." he said before getting on the ramp leading to his zeppelin. "…I've got a golf course to grow!"

Killigan boarded his airship and left Team Possible there, hanging 70 feet above the angry and hungry gators.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

(_at the Tunica Convention Parking lot, 2:15pm)_

A small crowd of people gathered for one of the most familiar scenes out of Mark Twain's _Adventures of Tom Sawyer. _Some of the people were in period costumes.

It was the scene of Tom's, Huck's and Joe's funeral that they were re-enacting.

"Okay…" Linda said to the others in the crowd, "…has everyone been through the truck filled with onions?"

Everyone else nodded their heads. Since it was a very sad scene, it required everyone to be upset. So, what Linda did was that she brought them in an eighteen-wheeler filled with onions for about three minutes, five at a time. She did this with the 20 people that were playing the role of the church congregation attending the 'funeral' of the boys. Isabella and Baljeet also were 'crying' as well to keep themselves in character for the re-enactment.

There were also three empty closed coffins in front of the small congregation and Mr. DuBois, the father of Albert and Irving, taking on the role as the pastor. All their attention was focused on Mr. DuBois and said coffins.

Phineas, Ferb, and Buford were out of the scene for now, behind Linda. They took on the roles as Tom, Huck, and Joe respectively.

"Everyone in character! Everyone in their places! And action!"

She stood behind with the video camera that she brought along, pressing the record button.

* * *

_Mr. Dubois (as the Pastor): We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Thomas Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, and Benjamin Rogers…._

_Isabella (as Becky): (wails) Why, Tom! Why?! (sobs into her hanky)_

_Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro (as Mrs. Thatcher): Please, Becky, it'll be alright…_

_Mr. Dubois: While they may not be the most….upstanding of citizens, we have to remember that these young men are now safely in the hands of the Almighty!_

_(The congregation continued to sob until Phineas, Ferb, and Buford, playing their respective roles as the boys, walked down the aisle. All their eyes focused attention on the boys as they whispered "It's a miracle!" and "The boys are alive!" The entire congregation came up to the three boys, hugging them. Becky (Isabella) hugged Tom (Phineas) the hardest.)_

* * *

"And….cut! That's a wrap!" Linda smiled, knowing that the scene had been pulled off very successfully.

* * *

_(the Starlet Mansion, 3pm)_

Veruca was pacing back and forth in her office, trying to find a way to execute the most difficult part of her plan, which is exploiting Candace's fear of squirrels without bringing up her traumatic experiences of the Wonka factory.

"Let's see…if I can….no, that won't work! Or maybe….no….! Urgh…this is getting frustrating, god damn it!"

She heard three taps on her door.

Holding back her anger, Veruca muttered under her breath.

"Come in…"

The door opened and Rebecca appeared with Suzy right beside her. Both Jack and June were at work at the time and Rebecca sneaked her out of the Johnson house.

"What do you two want?"

Rebecca began to explain, "Maybe Suzy can help you with this part of your plan! We…just wanted to help…"

"Yeah, I always wanted to humiliate Candace with…those animals!" Suzy said, making sure to avoid using the 's' word around the heiress.

Veruca took a deep breath and replied, "Okay…go ahead." She instructed Suzy to sit on a chair right in front of her desk. Suzy sat down on the chair, her legs crossed.

"So….Veruca…" Suzy began, "what is the next phase of your plan…so far?"

Veruca, in a cool and composed manner to the six-year old, replied, "You know her birthday is coming up in a week, right?"

"Yeah?" Suzy knew that part.

"My phase of this plan is to give her an early birthday gift, but not just any gift….no…." Veruca said with maddening glee, "…the 'gift' would actually be hundreds of those things descending up on her! She would be ruined at that point…"

"…and trigger Candace's insanity…" Suzy added.

"…and BAM!" Veruca screamed with excitement, banging on the desk violently with her fist, "She would be in a mental institution for the rest of her miserable little life! That way, it will ensure Kim's failure and my success will be enshrined! I would even have a statue dedicated to all of us near City Hall and my foot would be over Kim's head as she cries in the dirt and mud for all the world to see!"

"Oooohh…." Suzy rubbed her hands in glee. She would definitely like to be immortalized in a statue alongside Rebecca and Veruca.

"However…" Veruca sighed, "…there are two primary obstacles in my way…"

Suzy's grin faded and asked, "And they would be…?"

"One is that I do not know what gift that brings the most joy to Candace and two is my phobia towards…them…"

Veruca was referring to her squirrel problem.

She continued on, "It is one thing for me to be laughing at someone else with those things in her pants, it is another thing for me to actually touch one of the little beasts! So, if you have an idea that would ensure not only the success of this part of my plan, but also prevent the reoccurrence of my phobia, I would like to hear it!"

"Hmm…" Suzy thought to herself, imagining some way to strike fear into Candace's poor heart.

Rebecca also brainstormed as well.

A few minutes later, an idea crossed Rebecca's head.

"I got it!"

"You do?" Veruca asked.

"Remember what you browsed around a couple nights ago? The little spy-fly thing of yours?"

Veruca thought back to two nights ago when she first knew of Candace's existence. She gasped as it all came back to her.

"That's it!"

"What's it?" Suzy wondered.

"The greatest piece of my plan is to use the one thing she treasures the most and use it against her!" Veruca replied, taking out her laptop and typing on it as fast as she could.

Suzy suspected something, "Oh no…you're not talking about my brother, are you?"

Veruca understood Suzy's immediate apprehension and replied, "No, no, no….it's something even better than her obsession of your brother!"

She turned the laptop screen around to Suzy's direction.

Suzy gasped, "There it is! The one thing that she treasures about as much as Jeremy!"

All three of the nefarious girls laughed in sickening horror at the image on Veruca's laptop.

It was a picture of Ducky Momo.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Back at the abandoned steamboat, Kim and Ron still struggled with their chains, in the hopes of avoiding being gator chow. To make matters even worse, the detonator in the boiler room was down to five minutes and the heated golf ball had already eaten up most of the rope on the top of the parapet. The rain from the clouds was starting to pour down on them as the thunder rumbled.

"Looks like this is the end, KP…" Ron whimpered, seeing that the gators were lickin' their chops for teen heroes.

However, Kim was much more upbeat, already figuring out the weaknesses of Killigan's trap.

"Ron…oh you of little faith!" she giggled, "I just found a way out of here!"

"But how, KP?"

"Just look at how far we are from the deck!" Kim replied, fixating her eyes on the distance between them and the deck of the boat. They were a mere 20 feet away from the boat.

"Also, the key to our cuffs is in that glass compartment over there!"

She then moved her eyes to the container that held the key to their chains.

"If we can swing this rope through our momentum before it snaps, we'll be able to reach the deck, free ourselves, and disarm the detonator before the steamboat blows up!" Kim explained.

"Well, we'd better hurry, Kim!" Ron yelled, before hearing a certain ticking of an alarm clock! "I think one of them may be already ready for dinner!" The crocodile that Ron was mentioning crawled on a nearby rock and rubbed his stomach, awaiting his dinner. He indeed did swallow an alarm clock.

"On the count of three, we swing this rope and land on the deck!" she instructed. "Ready, Ron?"

Ron gulped. "Whenever you are, KP…."

"One…"

Kim began to use her body to swing the rope. They were eight feet short of the railing of the deck.

"Two…"

She used her body to swing them again, and the duo got closer.

"THREE!"

Ron heard the loud snap of the rope from the top of the paraphet. Just in the nick of time, Kim's hands grabbed onto the metal railing. Ron yelled and grabbed ahold of her legs.

The crocodile with the alarm clock in his mouth snapped its jaws at Ron's buttocks, but he missed by a foot.

Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket and shrieked in horror.

"Kim! I can't hold on much longer!"

"Ron! Jump to the deck below mine!" Kim yelled from above.

Ron nodded his head and Kim swung her legs to and fro twice. He jumped after the second swing of her feet and landed feet-first onto the lower deck. Kim climbed up the railing and vaulted over it.

She opened up the container that had the key in it and unlocked her shackles. Ron came upstairs to where she was. Kim then proceeded to unlock Ron's shackles as well.

They had outwitted Killigan on the first part of his trap.

"Now, we get to the fun part…the detonator…"

She and Ron made their way towards the boiler room.

At the Southern Accent class, Candace was beginning to yawn. She was getting tired of Chloe droning on and on about the ins and outs of the Southern tongue. Clearly, the class wasn't meant for her.

"An' that's why you should say 'y'all' instead of them. Y'all understand me?"

"Oh my gosh…" Candace groaned, "…when is this going to end?! And when can I get this stupid lollipop out of my hair before Jeremy's concert tonight?!"

All of a sudden, the cell phone of Chloe's began to beep three chimes. It was now three o'clock.

"Looks like th' seminar's over! Thank y'all for comin' !"

Candace and Stacy left the room, having learned nothing at all.

"Let's meet up with Mom and the boys..." Candace sighed, "…I just had it up to here with wearing this stupid sailor suit…"

* * *

(_25 minutes later)_

"Hey, honey!" Linda smiled, kissing Lawrence on the cheek, "Did you enjoy your time at the casino?"

"Hey, Luv, I've had a good time playing _Space Maulers_!" Lawrence replied to his wife.

Lawrence hadn't actually gambled at the slot machines or tables but played in the video arcade instead on a video game from 1981.

"That was so fun!" Phineas exclaimed to his brother, "And we can cross off another 's' word that kids don't use!"

Ferb took out a notepad filled with 's' words that were complex and crossed steamboat off with a pencil.

"So how did the lame-o _Tom Sawyer _re-en…whatchamacallit… went?" Candace muttered, standing right next to the family SUV.

"It went well, Candace." Linda said, getting in the driver's seat and Lawrence in the passenger, "Now let's hit the road!"

"Okay, but can we make one pit stop! I have to remove this stupid lollipop from my hair before Jeremy's concert tonight!" Candace suggested.

She, Stacy, Phineas and Ferb all got in the back seat.

"We'll find a rest stop at the halfway point, Candace." Linda replied, putting the keys in the ignition. The SUV started up and pulled out of the parking lot.

Candace was glad that this humiliating day for her was about to come to a merciful end.

* * *

Kim and Ron entered into the boiler room, where the bomb was located. It only had a minute and a half left before exploding.

She turned on her Kimmunicator.

"Wade!"

"Yeah, Kim?"

"We need you to find a way to disarm the bomb! It's about to explode in a minute!" Kim exclaimed.

Wade typed as fast as he could, trying to hack his way into the bomb controls. However, he was denied.

"I can't, Kim! The system is very difficult to hack into, even for me!" Wade admitted.

"So what do we do now?" Ron asked.

"I only have two words for you guys….Abandon ship!" Wade said bluntly.

Kim and Ron immediately ran out of the boiler room, and both of them dived into the murky bayou waters.

Above in his airship over the Gulf of Mexico, Killigan pressed the red button on his remote control.

He saw the video of the steamboat explode and burst into flames as a result of his bomb.

Killigan momentarily removed his beanie, and gave a mock moment of silence.

"And so…here lies Team Possible…." After putting his beanie back on, he laughed madly and proclaimed:

"Now….onto me golf course!"

He thought he had destroyed Team Possible for good.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Kim and Ron swam to the surface as rain poured on the pair. Rufus, wet but safe in Ron's pocket, shook out all of the excess water. They were completely drenched and Ron was partially covered in Spanish Moss, but they were all in one piece.

"That...was so close…" Kim breathed a sigh of relief. She looked on as the steamship continued to burn from the powerful roar of the explosion.

"I'd say, KP! We would've been goners but why didn't the gators eat us?" Ron wondered.

"The explosion must've scared them off!" Kim concluded. "I'll get Wade to see where in the Gulf of Mexico Killigan's airship is located. It's also a good thing that the Kimmunicator is water-proof and rain-proof!"

"Wade, you there?"

Wade came online, "Oh, hey, Kim! I'm glad that you took my advice of 'abandon ship' very seriously."

"Of course, Wade, otherwise that sitch could've been different. Now, about the coordinate's to Killigan's airship?"

Wade began typing but also added. "While you were trying to find Killigan, Kim, I also discovered something interesting about the Chez Couteaux incident you and Ron investigated several hours ago!"

Kim gasped, "Oh great, I almost forgot about that! Sorry, Wade…"

"No worries, Kim! I scanned the bloodstain that you swiped off the carpet of the restaurant." Wade replied. "As it turns out, I've matched it to one person!"

"And that would be?"

"Lizzie Wantsmoney, one of the Middleton High Golden Dancers." Wade said, "Security camera footage and fingerprints confirmed that she was there on the second of July when the fight occurred!"

"What about the other participant or participants in the fight?" Kim asked.

"I couldn't get a clear look at them." Wade said, "The fingerprints were all smudged up and the footage was blurry!"

"You even tried to focus them in?" she questioned.

"Tried to do that twice, but I was unable to get a positive identification! I guess the only way that you would know the identity of the other attacker is that you would have to talk to the source herself." said Wade.

Ron tried to say something, but held down his tongue, knowing that Kim was going to deny what he had seen over at Felix's house.

"And where is Lizzy right now?" Kim asked the final question she wanted to bring out.

"She is in the Middleton Juvenile Detention Center, Kim." replied Wade. "And I've finalized the coordinates for Killigan's zeppelin! You should have your backpack jetpacks delivered by Paul, the delivery man, right now!"

Paul walked on the pathway to give both Kim and Ron their backpacks, which usually transformed into jet packs.

"Okay, Miss Possible…." Paul said, "…just sign here and here and your initial here!"

"Done, done, and done!" Kim smiled to the delivery man, signing on all three lines. Paul gave her the pink copy of the receipt.

Paul made his way back to his delivery truck, amidst all the nasty weather occurring.

Ron whined, putting his jetpack on "Oh man! Why couldn't we use those earlier?! That would've been so much better than walking on that creepy path!"

"Chill, Ron!" Kim grinned, "We got the coordinates! Now all we have to do is to make sure that Killigan doesn't use that formula!"

"But what about Chez Couteaux?" Ron asked, wanting to make sure that Kim didn't forget again.

"First, we deal with Killigan, then we'll pay a little visit to Miss Lizzy at the detention center!"

Rufus put on his helmet with goggles on them.

The two of them activated their jetpacks and flew off while the storm continued to rage on.

* * *

"Aye…there's nothing like me achievin' victory. And what better way ta do it is a full round of 18 holes on me brand new golf course on a body of water!" Killigan laughed madly as the airship slowed down on its intended spot in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.

He was loading the formula into an advanced sprinkler system that was specifically designed for his plan. It had three nozzles extending from each side of the airship and two in the front and back. The sprinklers began to spray all around the gulf.

"Now…accordin' to the instructions, I have to wait five minutes fer the soil to emerge! That'll be plenty enough time to practice me puttin'!"

Dr. Green sighed from the brig at the bottom of the ship. He couldn't believe that his formula that was supposed to benefit nature was instead being used for such a villainous deed. Green looked outside the window of the approaching storm, looking defeated that help wasn't going to come at all.

That was when he saw Team Possible, alive and well, flying outside his cell on their jetpacks.

"Don't worry, Professor! We'll get you out!" Kim smiled as she took out her lipstick laser. She began cutting a hole into his cell. The 4000 F laser cut through the thick steel and created a hole large enough for Dr. Green's entire figure.

"Oh thank you, Miss Possible! I thought you were gone in that steamboat fire!" Green sighed with relief.

"Let's just say that I've escaped more traps than anyone can count, Dr. Green!" Kim smiled. "First of all, we got to cool down a mad golfer!"

Green began to point out the nozzles on the sprinkler, which was spewing out his formula.

"Someone has to close out those nozzles and obtain the main vial of my grass formula in one piece! My life's work is in there!"

Killigan, in the meantime, was practicing his putting with one of his clubs, not looking up at the windows.

"Now if I can set it to here…."

"Um…b-b-boss?" one of his Caddies stammered in fear. He saw two people in jetpacks carrying a scientist with his boss not paying attention.

Killigan angrily turned to the Caddy, "Canna you see I'm tryin' to practice here?"

The Caddy was pointing up, and Killigan finally looked up at his airship.

He saw nothing.

"Now git back ta work!" Killigan demanded. The Caddy went back to work, for his job was making sure the special sprinkler system was working.

* * *

Kim, Ron and Dr. Green all landed on the catwalks that surrounded the giant sprinkler system.

"Let's see…how can we disarm this giant sprinkler?" Kim asked. She opened the control panel and before her was a maze of wires. She attempted to pull some out until Green interrupted her.

"Um…Miss Possible?"

"Yes, Dr. Green?"

"I think you should look below!"

He pointed down and all three of them saw Killigan's personal golf course island taking shape in the middle of the Gulf. It was growing at an extremely rapid pace, filled with sandtraps, bunkers, hills and eighteen holes suitable for golfing.

Kim gasped, then saw Killigan rappel down from the side, humming along with a Scottish tune and not even thinking of turning right behind him. He was only fixated on enjoying his long-awaited golf course on water.

She thought of something off the top of her head.

"Ron, you and Dr. Green get that formula from his airship. I'll handle Killigan below on his course! We need to make sure that he doesn't enjoy a good time at all!"

Ron and Dr. Green nodded their heads and went up the catwalks to the main cockpit. Meanwhile, Kim used her jetpack to zoom on down to Killigan's island course.

Killigan landed on his personal golf course and inhaled the air deeply.

"Ahh…tis nothin' better than playin' golf on me own course!"

He checked his inventory in his golf bag.

"Now, let's see, I've got me golf clubs, me normal golf balls, and…"

Killigan looked through his golf bag. He was missing one thing.

"Oh no! What are the tees?! Where are me lucky tees?!"

"Looking for these?"

"That wee voice…"

Killigan turned around and was shocked with what he saw.

Kim was standing there, grinning and twirling around his golfing tees.

"Kim Possible?! By the landscapes of Edinburgh! Are ye….a ghost?!"

Killigan's face turned pale white.

"No, it's me! In flesh and blood!" Kim snickered, tossing the villain's tees to the ground.

"What?!" Killigan shouted as he stood there, frightened, "How did ye survive me steamboat trap?!"

"A reminder to self, Killigan, never trap me and Ron with only a few feet apart from the deck of the boat!" Kim taunted.

"Aye…" Killigan sneered, getting out one of his exploding golf balls and his lucky club, "I'll try to keep that in mind the next time we meet…which will be never!"

He yelled and whacked the golf ball as loud as he could. Kim dodged the ball before it exploded on the ground.

"You'll have to try next time, Killigan!"

"Aye, I will get me revenge against ye!"

* * *

Back above the airship, Dr. Green and Ron sneaked upstairs.

"So what were you trying to tell Killigan?" Ron asked.

"I basically tried to tell him the weakness in my formula for making a golf course, but he wouldn't listen!" Green replied.

"Why would you even build a golf course on water?" Ron questioned the nature of his research.

"For fun! The MIST employees were tired of using the golf course on land so they commissioned me to design a golf course on water, which I gladly accepted." Green explained as both of them climbed up the stairs.

"Oh, so that's why Killigan wanted that formula! To find a way around his ban on golf courses!" Ron deducted off the top of his head.

"Yes. Anyways, the primary reason of the golf course is…." Green was about to continue until.

"Um, Dr. Green? We've got a problem!" Ron whimpered.

Both gasped as eight Caddies…Killigan's henchmen…surrounded them.

"Stay behind me and follow my moves!" Green instructed, going into a karate pose.

"Um…not to put a damper on things, but we're outnumbered!" Ron shrieked.

But Green wasn't fazed.

The Caddies tried to jump on Green but he fought back by performing karate moves against them, kicking one in the stomach, punching another in the face and tossing another like a ragdoll into a group of Caddies. Ron, meanwhile, panicked and began to jump to a nearby ladder to the next level in the airship.

As it turns out, Killigan wasn't smart at all in choosing henchmen. According to HenchCo's performance results, Caddies were usually second-worse in the rankings. Only Drakken's was worse.

After Green disposed of the Caddies, he snuck into Killigan's office and grabbed a few of his Knockout golf balls. Green also took two gas masks as well that were designed to not breathing in the gass.

He went up the stairwell as well towards the uppermost level of the airship…the cockpit.

Green stealthily opened a hatch and rolled several knockout balls throughout the entire cockpit. It released the gas in the air as the Caddies fell asleep, one by one.

Ron was beneath him as Green closed the hatch.

"Mr. Stoppable, I'd suggest to you to wear this mask!" he replied, tossing the mask to Ron.

Ron put it on and said, "How did you knock out all of Duff's henchmen without breaking a sweat? And how did you know my name?"

Green chuckled, putting his mask on. "Ex-Navy SEAL and fifth-degree black belt in hand-to-hand combat! I knew your dad from our roommate days at MIST! Told me everything about you!"

Ron sniffled through his mask, "Wow…finally! Someone actually saying my name!"

"Come on, Mr. Stoppable! We don't have much time!" Green replied, opening the hatch that was filled with the Knockout gas mist. Because of the masks, though, both Ron and Green didn't breathe in the gas.

They went up the ladder to the cockpit. And there it was! The formula that Green had worked so hard on!

"Alright! Now that the formula is secure, we have to rescue Miss Possible!"

Ron scoffed at first, "How?! She takes care of bad guys all the time! We don't need to rescue her!"

"That's not what I'm talking about, Mr. Stoppable! Look at what's happening to the golf course!" Green shouted, pointing to the window.

Ron looked out the window, and he can see why Green was alarmed.

The island was disintegrating.

"That's what I've been trying to tell Killigan before he used my formula for his own use!" Green said, "I've experimented the formula on bodies of fresh water, like in Lake Middleton for a nine-hole course, and it worked out fine! But when I put it on a body of salt water in my lab, the tuft of grass disintegrated before my eyes! The saltwater ate up the ground because I haven't made the soil strong enough yet to withstand the breakdown!"

"So…..um….is the Gulf of Mexico fresh-water or salt-water?" Ron asked before recalling, "Because I got that question confused in Geography! Mr. Barkin was teaching it!"

"Make an educated guess, Mr. Stoppable! What do you think?!" Green yelled.

Ron thought for a moment and gasped. The Gulf of Mexico _is _a body of saltwater.

"Oh no! KP!"

* * *

Down below, Kim was still dodging all of Killigan's shots.

"That wee lassie cheerleader has gone too far!" Killigan shouted in frustration. He dumped the entire contents of his box containing the exploding golf balls.

He cackled, "Let's see if ye can handle two hundred explodin' golf balls, lassie!"

Kim somersaulted up in the air and kicked Killigan in the stomach before he could even launch any. The force of the kick flew Killigan in the air and he landed hard in a sand trap and the golf club landed in her hands.

Killigan realized that his tools of the trade were now in Kim's possession.

Kim looked behind her and then back at Killigan, smirking.

"Seems like the tables have turned, Killigan!"

She took out two of Killigan's exploding golf balls, set them up on the two tees and whacked the balls as hard as she could. The two balls landed 20 feet to the left of Killigan and 15 feet to the right of him.

"Hah, ye missed, lassie!" Killigan taunted.

"Did I?" Kim slashed out her smile at Killigan.

The balls exploded and, as a result, salt water began to break apart the course.

The gurgling sounds of water is not what Killigan anticipated in his evil plan.

"What?! Oh no! Me course! Me beautiful golf course! It's disappearing! It's disappearing! What a world! Aigh!

"GRRR! That Beaker double-crossed me! That ugly piece of half-eaten haggis!"

Killigan ranted on how his dream of owning a golf course on water was disappearing before his very eyes.

"Toodles, Killigan! I'll call up the professional golf people and tell them to make sure to include golf courses on water in your ban!"

"GRRR! Ye'll pay fer this, lassie!"

A rope unfurled right in front of Kim.

"Come on KP! Grab on to the rope!"

Kim looked up and saw Ron. She grabbed ahold of the rope and began to climb up.

Killigan growled in anger, "Ye aren't going to get away from me, lassie!" He began to climb the rope as fast as he could.

Kim, because of her appropriate size, got to the airship well ahead of Killigan, who was only at the bottom of the rope due to his weight.

"Um, what about Killigan, KP?"

"He's such a slowpoke…" Kim giggled. She took out a nail file with a sharp blade on the end it and began to cut the rope.

Once the blade severed the final threads of the rope, Killigan knew that he was screwed.

"Aye…that is not good…."

Killigan screamed as he fell into the waters gulf, his dream golf course shattered.

Tossing aside one of the sleeping Caddies, Dr. Green assumed control of the airship. The formula was now safe in Team Possible's hands.

"Well…even though Killigan's plot of his own golf course island failed, I'm sure that he's bound to escape somehow…" Kim admitted.

"I don't think so!" Green laughed.

"How do you know?" Kim said with a slight grin on her face.

"Let's just say that I knew a lot of my friends from my Navy days!"

Green turned Killigan's hijacked airship around back towards dry land, leaving its owner in the water.

Completely wet, Killigan muttered to himself.

"Let's see….me beautiful plan of a golf course ruined…check, me airship hijacked…check….! Now…what am I missing?"

All of a sudden, a Navy patrol boat and several Coast Guard skiffs surrounded the mad golfer.

"Duff Killigan! You are under arrest! Come out with your hands up!"

"Ach…no fair!"

Killigan raised his hands up in surrender.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

(_the Starlet Mansion, 2:45pm)_

Now that Veruca had the final phase of her plan taken care of, she began to pack up for her trip to London. Her plane was going to leave in five hours, but there was one thing that she needed to test out first.

"Now, Suzy, I see that there is a sanctuary of….those beasts….to the north of the city, am I right?" Veruca questioned, pointing to the Danville Squirrel Sanctuary in between Middleton and Danville.

"Yes…" Suzy replied, "What time will all your girls be there?"

"Around four. It shouldn't take that long to set up the Ducky Momo costume on a little…'test run' before it's delivered to Candace!"

Suzy grinned, "And the fireworks will commence!"

"Perfect, I'll call up the other girls!" Veruca smiled as she took out her phone to round up the MMP.

* * *

_(4:00pm)  
_

The other girls of Veruca's group that were in town at the time, which consisted of Rebecca, Carmelita, Sandi Griffin, Devilla Jones, Miranda Killgallen, Connie D'Amico and Kate Saunders, all arrived at the Danville Squirrel Sanctuary at the appropriate time. They were waiting to see the legendary person that would bring Candace down.

Veruca arrived in her pink SUV driven by one of her servants. A trailer was attached to it with a prototype Ducky Momo costume tied down to it. They were a mile from the entrance to the squirrel sanctuary.

Veruca shuddered when she saw the word 'squirrel' on the entrance. She couldn't believe she was doing this.

"So…is there any way you can conquer…that fear?" Suzy asked. "What was it like?"

"You have no idea, Suzy…" Veruca sighed, "It all began when…"

* * *

_(flashback, Three months after the Wonka tour)_

_Doctor (to both Henry and Angina Salt and Veruca herself) Veruca has been diagnosed with a very severe case of sciurophobia, a fear of squirrels to be exact!_

_Veruca (snapping at the doctor): I don't want you saying….that word…that 's' word….in my holy presence!_

_Henry: Um, I would suggest to you, kind doctor, that you do not say the 's' word right in front of my daughter._

_Doctor: That was I was going to get to. Veruca's diagnosis of sciurophibia must've been rooted with some deep…trauma that the child endured before. If she is exposed to any s….._

_(Veruca growls)_

_Doctor: Sorry…those things in real life, it would expose her to a full blown panic attack, a reliving of that trauma and finally….a nervous breakdown! _

_Henry: I….I remember that it was the Wonka tour that did…this…to my beautiful child! Wonka should be sued for all the emotional damage he caused to my daughter!_

_(Tightlips then whispers into Angina's ear)_

_Angina: I'm afraid that won't be possible due to the fact that we signed that…waiver…._

_Henry: Waiver? What wai….(now remembers signing the aforementioned waiver that the Wonka Co. wouldn't be responsible for any damages done to his daughter before the tour began)_

_(Henry growled)_

_Oh, why did he have to outsmart me?!_

_Angina: Look, Henry, we need to do what is best for our young daughter!_

_(Henry sighs)_

_Henry: Okay, dear… (turns to the doctor) Doctor, what can we do to make sure our daughter is normal again?_

_Doctor (sets up a movie projector and a screen): The proper therapy method for tackling very severe sciurophobia comes in four stages of success. Stage 1: She conquers the fear of another person saying…the 's' word…in her presence. Stage 2: She conquers her fear of the things in forms of mass media: movies, TV, books, etc. Stage 3: She is able to encounter those things in a face-to-face part…. (an SUV runs over a squirrel, Veruca smiles). And finally Stage 4: She'll be able to survive her trauma with a swarm of the things! However, for the duration of the entire treatment, she cannot say the word herself or be exposed to them, lest she start over from the beginning._

_(Veruca gulped)_

_Doctor: That, I believe, is the only way she can conquer this…very severe form of sciurophobia that your daughter has, Mr. Salt. It will take several months, it may take her a few years, but with the proper support, she can conquer that fear of hers! (turns off projector)_

_Henry: Oh, thank you, Doctor! (shakes hands)_

_(Veruca gets off the chair and snaps her fingers. Both Henry and Angina go into a crawling position on their hands and knees.)_

_Veruca: Now, Tightlips, feed them their doggie treats!_

_Tightlips: It shall be done, Your Majesty. (Tightlips tosses doggie treats on the floor and both the Salt parents scoff them down.)_

* * *

Two of the servants untied the cables that held the Ducky Momo costume and began to carry it.

"So you treat your parents like dogs?!" Suzy gasped. "Wow! That's hardcore!"

"Indeed it is!" Veruca smirked, then got back to the progress of her treatment. "As of right now, I am on the edge of Stage 2 and on the very verge of success of conquering this fear once and for all. However, the doctor also told me to not be within 2500 feet of a sanctuary for those furry things. So…." She spotted a sign that says "3000 Feet from the Entrance" and just stood there.

"So, I am in charge from this point on?" Suzy asked.

Veruca nodded her head.

Suzy gave a slasher smile and continued onwards with Veruca's servants right behind her, tainted Ducky Momo costume in hand.

The other mean cheerleaders of the Mean Middleton Posse, except for Camille and London, arrived at the entrance gate of the squirrel sanctuary.

"So where is this…mean girl Veruca claims that could cripple Candace's chances on the squad?" Connie asked.

"Oh, you'll see!" Rebecca grinned, "Even though she's only as high as my thigh, she is a perfect fit to sealing Candy's fate once and for all!"

"Wait…you mean the person that could torment Candace is a pint-sized brat?" Connie exclaimed.

Rebecca grinned, "Remember, it's not the size of the person, but the amount of unparalleled hatred of Candace in the person is what matters!"

Suzy finally arrived with the servants of Veruca in tow, with the Ducky Momo costume in hand.

"Um, isn't she a little young to be tormenting our target?" Connie asked.

"Yes, yes she is." replied Rebecca. "Now since Veruca isn't around because of her fear of squirrels, I will be in charge of the MMP since I have known her the longest, of course! She wants one of us girls…"

"But what about the little one?" Kate asked.

"She can't fit into the costume, Kate, duh!" Rebecca countered, "As I was saying, Veruca and Suzy want one of us to go into that costume and make sure it works! Suzy has a second costume hidden beneath her house and that's the one we want to deliver to Candace as an early birthday gift!"

"Ohh…" Kate replied, understanding the nature of the plan.

"Okay, then! I got another good question!" Sandi asked. "Since the costume is only big for one of us, who will get the draw to be in the said Ducky Momo costume?"

Rebecca smiled and one of Veruca's servants took out a jar filled with strips of paper.

The vile blonde began to explain the purpose of it in their nefarious plans. "Inside this jar are strips of paper containing each of our names on those strips. To make it even, I've made five copies of all our names and cut them out. We'll also be blindfolded over our eyes, so we won't see the names. Our eyes will also be closed for the duration of the entire drawing. The girl who gets the most votes will get inside that costume and into the squirrel sanctuary! It is essential that this part of the plan works to perfection without the ugly red-headed Possible idiot knowing!"

"First of all…" Rebecca continued, "…we stand around in a circle like this!" She walked to a spot in the middle of the pathway. The other six girls followed suit and formed a circle around the path.

Suzy, on the other hand, stood beside one of the trees, merely observing the behavior of the other vicious cheerleaders.

She then clapped her hands twice. "Now, servant 59….the blindfolds!"

One of Veruca's servants present, Servant 59, brought out a bookbag and unzipped it. Inside were seven blindfolds for each of the girls present. The servant then took out the blindfolds and placed it over their eyes, and tying it behind their backs. With the blindfold completely over all the girls' eyes, Rebecca then said, "Now…the jar!"

Servant 59 handed the jar to Rebecca. Since she was the very first person Veruca befriended, she went first. Rebecca drew a scrap of paper from the jar and passed it around to her left. This process was repeated with the other six cheerleaders until the last one, which was Sandi, drew her scrap of paper.

"Servant 59?" Rebecca commanded, still under the blindfold and still with her eyes closed. "Has the jar been passed around to my friends?"

"Yes it has, Miss Starlet!" Servant 59 replied, "You may now remove the blindfolds!"

All of the cheerleaders took off their blindfolds, clenching the scraps of paper in their hands.

"Now…" Rebecca barked, "…open the palms of your hands, and reveal your choices!" She turned to Miranda in front of her. "I will tally the votes!"

"Miranda, open your palm and reveal your choice to the rest of us!"

Miranda did so and announced her decision to all present.

"I pick…Carmelita!"

"Okay…so that's one vote for Carmelita Spats!"

Carmelita meanwhile, trembled weakly in her knees.

"Next is Devilla! Show us your choice!"

Devilla unclenched her fist and reveled her choice.

"Sandi!"

Sandi gasped with fright.

"One vote for Carm, one vote for Sandi! Next one would be me!" She unfurled her hand and grinned.

"I got Carmelita!"

Carmelita bit her carefully manicured nails.

"Two votes for Carm and one for Sandi!"

"Okay, Carm….you're up!"

Carmelita revealed her choice, without saying anything. It had Connie's name on it.

"Okay, so that's one vote for Connie, two for Sandi, and one for Carm!"

"Kate, you're next!"

Kate unfurled her choice. It was Connie.

Connie dropped her jaw.

"Okay, so it's two votes for Connie, two for Sandi, and one for Carm!"

She was now down to two people.

"Now, Carm…it's your move!"

Carmelita gulped and unfurled her scrap of paper. It was…herself!

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh, why did I choose myself!" she yelled.

Rebecca calmed her down in the best way. "Don't fret yet, Carm! You're tied with Connie and Sandi with two votes each!

Sandi gulped and revealed her choice to the other girls. All of the other cheerleaders recoiled in horror.

She chose…herself!

Sandi screamed at the top of her lungs.

"NOOOOOO!"

Rebecca smiled without any remorse, "And it looks like Sandi is our winner!"

She begged on her knees to Rebecca.

"Please, Reb! I don't wanna do this! I don't wanna get into that Ducky Momo suit!"

Rebecca sensed the hesitation in Sandi's voice.

She instructed to the other cheerleaders. "Girls…why don't you talk about…say…boys for at least 15 minutes? Me and Sandi are going to have a little…talk!"

The other girls began to gossip about boys while Rebecca and Sandy took a trip out into the woods on a separate path.

* * *

Both Rebecca and a crying Sandi were a good quarter-mile away from the other girls. They came to a clearing with a lone park bench.

Sandi sat on the bench, weeping into her hands. "I don't wanna go along with this!"

"Look, Sandi, this is the only way we can make sure that the Ducky Momo costume works! Now stop your crying, and get into the damn costume, you asshole!"

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO!" Sandi screamed.

Rebecca was peeved by the crying sounds of the cheerleader, so she slapped her hard on the face.

"Would you PLEASE shut the hell up?!"

Sandi was caught completely off-guard by what the blonde cheer did to her. She felt the stinging pain of the mark on her face.

"Wha…what was that for?!"

"That is for crying like a little bitch!" Rebecca shouted angrily. "Look! When Veruca isn't around… _I'm _in charge of our group, and you, like all the other girls in the MMP, are supposed to follow our code!"

"But I don't wanna get into the costume! I would look like a lose!" Sandi cried.

Rebecca knew that Sandy was a tough nut but she was very well known to cut people down with insults and sniping remarks.

The fury disappeared from her eyes as she took one look at Sandi's physique and began to critique it.

"Um, you do also know that we have a weight requirement in our squad!"

"Wha…why…?" Sandi stammered in-between sobs.

"Our weight requirements for the squad is supposed to be between 90 and 130 pounds. It seems to me that you weigh around 135…140! That makes you a fat ugly bitch cow!"

Sandi began to cry harder, not mustering any words to counter those insults.

"Why don't you eat a god-damn cheeseburger deep fried so that you can get a damn heart attack, you fat bastard pig!"

Sandi wailed louder and collapsed into a fetal position. Rebecca made oinking sounds at the helpless mean cheerleader and poured dirt on her.

"You want me to rat you out to Veruca…saying that you are insubordinate to her orders, you little piece of shit?" Rebecca laughed madly, her eyes twitching around. "I'd be more than happy to! Once she hears this, she'll cut off all the heads of your little dollies and she will kick your ass off the squad for good!"

"Please don't! I wanna stay on the squad!" Sandi cried, pleading for clemency and wrapping her hands around Rebecca's knees. "I wanna play mean pranks against nerds and losers! I'll do anything you and Veruca say! Just don't kick me off!"

Rebecca was satisfied with the result.

"Good…now get inside the damn costume before I tell Veruca on you, you little lab rat!"

Still sobbing in tears, Sandy got up and walked on back over to where the other girls were at.

Rebecca followed behind her, just to make sure she didn't try anything stupid.

* * *

Sandi sniffled when she returned to the other girls, whom were all staring at her. She climbed into the bottom half of the Ducky Momo costume and put the top of the costume on her.

Rebecca smiled, knowing with full confidence that this part of Veruca's plan would be pulled off without incident.

"Now…stand up straight!" she commanded to the occupant in the costume.

Sandi stood up inside the costume.

"Good, now get inside that squirrel sanctuary!"

Without hesitation, Sandi walked inside the sanctuary.

Sandi nervously looked around the forest through the eyes of the costume.

"Hmm…" she muttered to herself, her tears drying up.

"Maybe this isn't so bad after all."

"Um…what did you actually put on that Ducky Momo costume?" Carmelita asked.

"I applied a coat of peanut butter to the costume this morning, but not just any nut…no! This is the type of nut that usually gives off a smell that would attract squirrels!" Rebecca cackled.

Sandi continued to waddle through the pathway in the costume when she heard chattering.

She gasped with alarm and turned her head violently. "What was that?"

Then Sandi looked below and saw a squirrel looking happily at here.

"Aww…aren't you the cutest thing ever!" Sandi attempted to pick up the squirrel with its wing. Then she looked through the eyeholes of the costume and saw another squirrel…and another…and another!

Soon, around 1000 squirrels began to surround poor Sandi. They were sniffing the peanut butter coating from her costume.

"Oh great…"

The squirrels began to swarm all over the costume. Since it was made of a very weak plaster, it collapsed immediately as the swarm of squirrels entered into the costume.

Sandi screamed out loud.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

* * *

(_25 minutes later)_

Sandi stumbled out of the sanctuary. She was in a complete mess with her $700 jeans tattered from the kneecaps down. Her hair was completely ruined and messed up and she was caked in mud and dirt.

Rebecca smiled at the results of the little 'experiment' that the other girls set up. It worked just as the way Veruca intended.

Sandi mumbled the words "No Ducky Momo….No Ducky Momo…Please! No Ducky Momo!" She then collapsed on the ground, went into a fetal position, and sucked on her thumb like a newborn infant.

Suzy, who saw the shellshocked Sandy, looked pleased that she was traumatized.

"If it can do that to Sandy…." Rebecca gave a demented smiled, "…imagine what it would do to Candace!"

"Yes!" Suzy chuckled, wringing her hands.

"Do you think the Ducky Momo costume would come in handy, Suzy?" Rebecca asked. "'Cause the first one looked like that it didn't survive the experiment."

"Yep!" Suzy replied.

"Then it'll have to do! We'll deliver it to her on the seventh!" Rebecca smiled, "By then, we'll make Candace's early birthday gift one she'll never forget!"

All of the mean girls laughed, with the exception of Sandi, as it echoed throughout the forest.

* * *

**Connie D'Amico and Family Guy is created by Seth MacFarlane and (c) by 20th Century Fox.**

**Miranda Killgallen and As Told By Ginger is created by Emily Kapnek and (c) by Nickelodeon.**

**Sandi Griffin and Daria is created by Glen Eichler and (c) by MTV.**

**Kate Saunders and Lizzie McGuire (c) to Disney.**

**Devilla Jones is (c) by Sharper-the-Writer.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Veruca smiled as Sandi was dragged away from the sanctuary by Connie and Devilla, still babbling about Ducky Momo being cursed.

"Seems like Sandi doesn't like to play with stuffed animals anymore!" Veruca grinned, not caring about Sandi at all.

Rebecca went up to Veruca and reported, "Looks like your Ducky Momo experiment worked, Veruca!" The two vile girls hugged each other before the blonde added.

"So what's next on the list?"

"All we can do till the seventh is to play a bit of the classical pranks on her, and then when that day of delivery comes, she'll be in a straightjacket before you know it!" Veruca proclaimed.

* * *

(_50 minutes later)_

As Killigan, Beaker, and his now-awake Caddies were led off into the paddy wagon in chains by the Middleton PD, President Chancellor shook the hands of Kim, Ron, and Dr. Green.

"Thanks to you three, the formula is back in the hands of MIST!" Chancellor replied to Kim. "Still, Dr. Green, we would need your expertise on how to create a golf-course on the Gulf of Mexico!"

"Just as long as there aren't any exploding golf-balls around…" Kim joked.

Chancellor chuckled a little, "Oh, Miss Possible! You can, indeed, do anything!"

"That's who I am!" Kim proclaimed proudly.

"With the sidekick by her side!" Ron added in.

"Okay, and your name is….?" Chancellor asked, forgetting the name once again.

Ron sighed a little. "Aww man!"

"I wish if we could celebrate this occasion over at Chez Couteaux, but the place has been closed for days due to some fight that happened!" Chancellor sighed. He was a regular at the restaurant. "I just want to return to that French cuisine I have enjoyed so much…"

"So I've heard!" Kim said, observing. "We'll get to the root of it!"

"Oh thank you so much, Miss Possible!" Chancellor grinned.

"So where do we go next, KP?" Ron asked.

"The Middleton Juvenile Detention Center, Ron! We're going to pay Miss Wantsmoney a visit!"

* * *

(20 minutes later)

Hobble, Kim and Ron arrived, via police car, to the local juvenile hall. He pulled into an empty parking space. Thunder sounded in the distance.

"Looks like storm's a-comin'! So, I'd expect we'll be here for an hour…" Hobble said. "Remember, Miss Wantsmoney has quite a laundry list of crimes!"

"Such as….?" Ron asked.

"Cuttin' in class, tardiness, backtalking to teachers, usin' the finger at the principal…"

"You mean, the naughty finger?" Kim asked.

"Yes, Kim, the naughty finger!"

"Wow!" Ron exclaimed, "It's amazing why she stayed on the dance squad prior to the fight…"

"Aye, once Miss Wantsmoney gave the finger to the dance team coach, she figured that it was the last straw. She kicked her off the team…" Hobble explained.

"And she wanted to take it out on someone else…question is, who?" Kim wondered as she got out of the car.

Ron was walking behind the two as he thought to himself.

_Why hasn't Kim seen the footage that I've witnessed over at the Renton's?_

Once they have gone through security and once Kim gave her utility belt, Kimmunicator, and hairdryer grappling gun to the police as a protective measure, they came upon Lizzy's jail cell.

There she was, prisoner no. UD42139, meditating quietly on her bunk. She was the only occupant in the cell.

Hobble tapped his baton on the bars. "Wantsmoney, you got visitors!"

Lizzy came out of her meditative state and walked on over in her cell.

"Huh? I didn't arrange any visitors for today?!" she sneered, "I specifically wanted just family members and my lawyer to be on the guest list, not some vile and smelly redheaded cheerleader!"

"It seems that the judge made an exception to the rule!" Hobble replied. "Remember, the time limit is one hour!"

"So, Possible…how's the weather down there in the town filled with stinkin' cheerleading losers like you?" Lizzy taunted. Like Violet and a few of the other girls on the Golden Dancers, she saw the cheerleaders as despicable people.

"And what about me!" Ron demanded.

"What's it to you, ex-Mad Dog?" Lizzy sneered, hinting the time he lost the mascot position to Danny Fenton.

"Okay…that just hurt my heart a little…"

"Look, Lizzy!" Kim replied bluntly, "We're not here to talk about the weather…or the rivalry between your Golden Dancers and our squad!"

"Not listening, Possible…" Lizzy replied with a snob look as she sat on her bunk took out one of the prison-approved Hollywood tabloids.

"I'm here to talk about the Chez Couteaux incident a couple of days ago!" Kim explained. "Surveillance confirmed that you were there and that you were involved in the fight over there!"

Lizzy sighed, rolling her eyes, "Yes, I was there at that French restaurant! But, to my credit, I fought in self-defense!"

"Well, if you say that it was self-defense, then who was your attacker?" Kim demanded.

"Let's see…she's had 17 boyfriends…now you can count number 18, she is the heiress to a multi-billion dollar peanut fortune, and she is the captain of your stupid squad!" Lizzy replied, giving her a few clues. "Does that give you any hints, Possible?"

Kim visualized the person and laughed it off.

"Oh please, Lizzy! You expect me to believe that Veruca Salt, the meanest and most vile cheerleader in the entire world, was your attacker?" the redhead scoffed. "You are just lying through your teeth, aren't you!"

She wanted Lizzy to admit to falsifying information.

The words that came out of Lizzy's mouth was uttered.

"Oh, Officer Hobble, can you turn on the TV to the Celebrity Channel?"

Kim was caught off-guard by Lizzy's answer.

"Okay, Wantsmoney, but remember, it counts towards hour-long your TV privileges." Hobble warned.

"It's only going to be for two minutes, Officer…"

Hobble sighed and turned on the TV.

The Celebrity Channel was tuned on as Kim and Ron both turned toward the TV.

* * *

…._and here we are live today at the Middleton Airport as we wait for local celebrity and peanut heiress, Veruca Salt, for a one-on-one interview before she leaves for her trip to London to promote her latest line of beauty products._

Kim at first wasn't fazed at it.

"Oh please, Veruca trying to promote her beauty products? Isn't that a little….WHAT?!"

_This just comes two days since her release from the Juvenile Detention Center for a DUI. She was released based on her good behavior and donations to the local charities of the Tri-State Area! _

The TV then showed filed footage of Veruca, two days ago, in that extremely expensive red dress of hers, walking out of the detention center while Tightlips held an umbrella over her head.

* * *

Kim's face turned as pale as a ghost.

"Wha….how…why…" she babbled.

Ron sighed, knowing that the truth was about to come out somehow.

"KP, this is what me and Rufus tried to tell you! We saw footage of that view on Felix's tablet!" the blonde insisted.

"No…" Kim replied weakly, "….this…this has to be some sort of mistake!"

She turned to Hobble.

"Officer, where did the detention center keep Veruca?"

"The cell where rich girls usually go…" Hobble replied, "…is on the very top floor. I still cannot understand why they put that big cell there in the first place!"

Kim ran as fast as she could to the nearest stairwell, trying to keep calm that her worst fears had not been realized. Ron ran right behind her.

Once they got to the top floor, they both traverse through a long hallway to the penthouse cell. Unlike most of the other cells in the facility, which was around 10 x 12 feet, the penthouse cell was 2000 square feet, enough for an average house. It was only built for extremely wealthy delinquents, and was rarely ever occupied. A summer thunderstorm, the same system that came when they were investigating Killigan's hideout, was approaching the vicinity of the detention center.

Kim's jaw dropped when she realized, to her dismay, that the cell door was open. Ron, behind her, was out of breath after only climbing two flights of stairs.

"Wait…up…KP...!"

"Ron! We got a VERY huge problem here!"

Kim went through the door and turned her head around in horror. Everything was gone!

"Veruca? Veruca? Where the heck are you?!"

A low-booming thunderclap was heard as lightning flashed through the windows of the penthouse cell.

Not a single scrap remained. Only one paper that was stabbed in wood with a personalized pocketknife was there. It was folded neatly, envenlope-style.

"Now how does a knife with that long of a blade get into Juvie?" Ron asked, pointing to the knife in the wall.

"I don't know, Ron, but we are about find out…."

She removed the knife, placed it on the nearby desk and began to unfold the letter.

"Oh yes…this is Veruca's handwriting alright…."

"How can you tell, KP?" Ron asked.

"Who else do you think puts the letter V in purple all over the borders of her letters?"  
She pointed to hundreds of small V initials on said borders of the letters and Veruca's signature on the letter to Ron.

Rufus popped open momentarily from Ron's pocket and sniffed the area and began to growl. Ron smelled it as well and made a growling sound too.

"And also her infamous perfume, Eau de Heiress!"

A loud crackle of thunder boomed through the facility and a bright flash of lightning illuminated the dark room, reflecting against the curtains.

Rufus scurried back into his owner's pocket because of the scary sound of thunder.

Kim knew this because of the fact that Veruca always had a fixation with the letter V and that she had seen a similar letter done in her handwriting when Ron vacated the Mad Dog Mascot position back in late February.

"Ron, can you hit the lights?"

Ron tried flicking on the switch but to no avail.

"No can do, KP! They must've cut off the electricity."

"Urgh…this penthouse cell is nothing more than a money pit! Let's see if I can open up the curtains slightly here.

She opened the heavy-thread curtains to allow her for a way to read the letter.

"Let's see what little Miss Moneybags has written for me!"

Kim began to read the letter out loud.

* * *

_Dear Kim,_

_ I knew that you would find my letter a couple of days after my release from Juvie Hall. The mayor of Middleton has granted me a full and complete pardon. Since I have paid my debt to society, I am finally free for the rest of summer to tend to my business and, more importantly, to my worldwide fashion empire where I am able to freely sell my beauty products and my fashion line to my fans! And if you don't like it, Kim, you can bite me! So, enjoy your summer, Miss Little Red Head! I hope you and your smelly little tramp friends have a miserable one!_

_ Your Eternal Hated Cheerleading Rival,_

_ Veruca D. Salt…._

* * *

Kim dropped the letter, the shocked reaction never leaving her face.

"Oh no…this cannot be! This cannot be!"

She dropped down on her knees and cried out in a loud voice.

"VERUUUUUCCCCAAAAAA!"

A bright flash of lightning illuminated the room, creating the shadows of such a rare sight…a frustrated Kim on her knees.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Kim just stood there on her knees, speechless that the most vile, despicable, and rude cheerleader in the entire world had slipped through her fingers once more. The letter laid a few inches from her in a crumpled heap.

"I…I don't believe it…"

The skin on her arms just felt cold all over after reading the chilling words from the letter.

"Me either, KP…" Ron sighed, patting his hand on Kim's shoulder as a low boom of thunder grumbled in the distance.

"I had her, in my grasp, Ron! And she just had to slip through like the slithering snake that she is…." Kim growled through her teeth.

"I had to warn you, Kim! I knew it! Felix and his parents knew it! Even Rufus, of all people…I mean animals, knew it!" Ron clarified.

"I should have believed you when Rufus scribbled Veruca's name on that chocolate cake!" Kim grunted, pounding her fist on the floor.

"Look, Kim, it's not my fault…" Ron apologized.

"I wasn't about to blame you, Ron! Guess I should've seen the clues that were right in front of my eyes…" Kim replied, still stunned that her rival got out of juvenile hall so early.

She then took out her Kimmunicator, her hand trembling on the 'on' button.

"There's only one way to confirm Veruca's presence at the Chez Couteaux fight…"

Kim turned on the Kimmunicator.

"Wade, we have a horrible sitch on our hands…"

Wade, at first, wore a smile but one look on Kim's frightened face wiped it away.

"Kim? What's wrong?"

"It's Veruca!"

That made Wade jump out of his seat in sheer dread.

"That is really bad news, Kim!"

"Wade, I need to ask you this question!" Kim said, her hand still shaking.

Wade breathed heavily in panic until he mustered some courage to reply.

"Okay, ask away…"

"Was Veruca involved in that fight at Chez Couteaux?"

The 11-year old tech guru gulped hard, "I was about to get to you on that part before you beeped, Kim. And you're not going to like the results…"

Kim sighed, "Okay, Wade, go ahead…"

"It was a pair of $1900 Italian tuxedo leather pants that the police brought to my attention last night! About three-quarters of the pants were burned off.."

Ron whistled at that amount, "Wow! Talk about burning all your money in one place!"

"The charred leather pants that I did manage to salvage contained two sets of fingerprints. One set belong to a Jack Bucksalot, heir to a rich oil tycoon. The other pair of prints belongs to…you guess it…Veruca Salt!"

Another loud rumble of thunder was heard as lightning briefly flashed through the windows.

"Were there any other participants in the fight besides Veruca and Lizzy?"

"As far as the evidence has spoken to me, there aren't any other participants!"

Kim was completely perplexed. "How was Veruca able to walk free while Lizzy is in jail?"

"According to the police report, Kim, it said that Veruca acted in self-defense…"

"There's gotta be something wrong! Something isn't right here!"

"I'll keep my eyes peeled!" Wade promised, typing away on his computer.

"Thanks, Wade!" Kim sighed, confirming her worst fears as she turned off the Kimmunicator.

"So now what do we do?" Ron asked, the thunder still grumbling.

Kim growled like a panther, pressing her hands on the window as the rain poured hard, "We're going to confront Little Miss Moneybags about her latest stunt of getting out of jail!" She paced back and forth, trying to figure out Veruca's next move.

"But how are we going to find her, KP? She could be anywhere by now, like in Madrid, Paris, or London!" Ron wondered.

A bright idea crossed Kim's mind while thunder boomed in the distance.

"Ron! That's it!"

"What's it, KP?"

"In that letter of hers…" Kim replied, "…she mentioned about leaving for a trip…"

Quick with a wink, she took out the Kimmunicator.

"Wade!"

"Yeah, Kim?"

"I need you to look at the cameras at the Middleton County Airport, see if you can find anything Veruca-related.

Wade sensed an opportunity, typing very fast.

"Got it! She has her private jet in Runway Five!"

"Then that's where we're going to confront her!"

* * *

_(Middleton County Airport, five miles north of Middleton)_

Veruca murmured to herself, her elbows leaning against the window of her private jet. She was obviously not happy about the weather. She was sitting on her own plush recliner, made with some of the softest fabric that money can buy. About ten of her servants, plus Tightlips, were in the back

"Ugh…stupid damn thunderstorm delay! I just wish if all of this would clear up!"

She turned to the other girls that she brought along with her, namely Connie D'Amico and Carmelita Spats.

"Hey, Connie!" Veruca barked as the thunder rumbled onward, "When is this stupid storm system going to move out?"

Connie looked on her tablet phone for the radar of the Middleton area. After she zoomed in on the location of the airport on the Internet, she replied, "It's going to be for another 90 minutes, Veruca…"

"Oh, this is just bloody perfect!" Veruca snarled, folding her hands. "We're never going to get out of this one-horse town at this rate!"

"But then again, it is a given that planes cannot fly in the middle of a thunderstorm." Connie added.

"True…true…" Veruca admitted. "It was also good that I put Reb in charge of my group while I am gone."

"Yep!" Connie agreed, "You did the right thing, Veruca!"

"Still, I want everything to fall into place so that Candace will get her damn comeuppance in the end and I will have my triumphant statue in downtown Middleton with my boot over Kim's head in the mud! Isn't that right, Carm? Carm?"

She turned to the other girl in the jet.

Carmelita was leaning on the seat, looking outside on her binoculars.

"Um…Veruca? You might want to take a look at this…"

Veruca groaned, "Okay, who is it…"

"It looks like Kim Possible and her Naco-sniffing friend!"

"What?!" Veruca yelled so loud that the cabin could hear her. A bright flash of lightning streaked across the sky.

She snatched the binoculars from Carmelita's hands and looked through them.

To her alarm, it was her worst fear.

Kim and Ron were indeed on the runway, running as fast as they could against the elements, against the weather that wasn't fit for either man or beast.

Veruca's eyes twitched and her jaw dropped.

"Oh crap!"

Another brilliant lightning bolt streaked once more against the sky.

Tightlips opened the door, bowed to Veruca three times, and said. "Goddess, I have heard your screams! What is it?"

"You idiot! Take a look outside and tell me what you think!"

She shoved the binoculars to Tightlips' stomach. The head of the servants looked outside and confirmed it.

He gasped, "It's the green-eyed devil! Shall I send in the servants so that the police can arrest her and send her to jail?"

Veruca thought about it for a moment and replied, in a more calm voice, "No…we don't want a repeat of what had happened when my law went into effect! You know… people turning on me because I threw Kim in jail, a small decline in my fashion business, things like that! Just allow me and my girls to take care of the redhead. I don't want to create an ugly scene with my servants!"

"Now, Tightlips…" she continued, "…release the steps and carry my umbrella!" She pointed to the umbrella hanging on the rack. "I had my hair carefully done and I don't want the rain to mess it up! Understood?"

A small boom of thunder echoed through the blackened sky.

Tightlips nodded his head. He opened the door of the plane and the staircase unfolded to the wet ground below and grabbed the umbrella from its hook.

"Come on girls…" she insisted "…let's have a little 'fun' with Miss Little Ginger…"

The other two girls smirked as they stood up from their seats and, standing behind their leader, went downstairs behind Veruca and Tightlips to confront their archenemy.


End file.
